I know! I know! It wasn't an easy matter of changing my mind, nor was it a plot to make people go bonkers and scream, "But you just spent so much time trying to decide, you even wrote a whole post debating the decision!!!" I merely couldn't control myself. And maybe that's a good thing.
When I was writing G3:DF, only one or two times did I actually have a real problem with writers' block. I'd just fix it by taking a little break, do other things, [eat,] daydream [events in the book], and read a few or more pages before where I got stuck (I do this whenever I sit down to write, too).
Otherwise, when I write, I'm always thinking ahead: I daydream one or more steps ahead, then it sort of plays out in my mind as I'm writing. You can say that I tend to come up with things on the spot after I give my imagination a little push. Who's inside my head when I'm pushing I have no idea, but somehow it works. Maybe that's the way highly productive, published writers poop out their books, but if you ask me, I think it's hard no matter what. Because us writers, like the average human beings, have the same puckered-lips-shaped anuses which therefore makes it hard to pass through books. Books are hard, too. Not very soft, and very dry.
*Pardon my weirdness in this post. I'm sitting in the hot sun, too lazy to move to the shade, and so the heat is frying my brain. It's always these reasons why I may say or write wild/crazy/creative things: Overheated, dehydrated, tired, it's late at night, or I'm feeling hyper and talkative.*
Anyway, so... I'm going to take a little break.
Minutes later...
...Alright! The new blog for book 4 is up!
Check it out: http://writinglog-g4o-jenniferfulk.blogspot.com/
I'll still update this writing log when I eventually sit down to revise, edit, and proofread book 3.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Monday, July 14, 2014
I FINISHED IT!!!!
After a year and almost a month of writing, I've finally finished this book. WOW. From June 20th, 2013 til July 14th, 2014 I have been writing day and [mostly] night, and now I am finished.
But! Now I need to revise, edit, and proofread. Fun? Sure, but the writing process was more fun. I don't know how long it will take for me to do it but I have a darned feeling that I'll be starting on the 4th book before I do that. I don't know.
My original plan was to read an entire book, but I might surprise myself. (I've had reader's block for four years ever since I hatched from writers' block and I have yet to see if I'm going to break from it.)
My options:
But! Now I need to revise, edit, and proofread. Fun? Sure, but the writing process was more fun. I don't know how long it will take for me to do it but I have a darned feeling that I'll be starting on the 4th book before I do that. I don't know.
My original plan was to read an entire book, but I might surprise myself. (I've had reader's block for four years ever since I hatched from writers' block and I have yet to see if I'm going to break from it.)
My options:
- Read a book(s)
- Revise, edit, proofread G3:DF
- Start writing G4:O
- All of the above (or two)
- I'm ashamed to admit that I really haven't read too many books. Most of the ones I recall reading are children's books, which is funny (and not) because here I am 22 and... uh, so yeah. *Ahem* It's kind of a miracle that I got so much better at writing (I was terrible at it when I was 13) within two years. I guess it's because I've always kind of had it in me, being a big daydreamer and having wild "sleepdreams" and all.
- The only big names in fantasy I've read really are just Paolini and Nix.
- I have not read the Harry Potter series. Shame on me. I plan on reading them all.
- I want to read a book.
- It would almost be better to do that than get distracted with another story, as then I'd lose the feel of G3:DF and keep thinking about the other story.
- I want to do this. There are things I really, really, really want to fix/do, first.
Why start "G4:O":
- Since I ended "G3:DF", I know what happens next. ("G4:O" begins straight off the ending of "G3:DF".)
- I'm excited and impatient, which is probably not the best thing.
Okay! I've decided! (Haha, you just saw the way I make decisions when I'm not compulsive and without a computer. I make my best decisions in this way.) I'll read a book AND revise, etc. I'm not sure how that'll play out, but I'll do both at different times of the day and/or on different days.
Lol You should have seen my happy dance when I finished the book today. Too bad my camera got destroyed when my mom fell in a 3-foot hole full of water and seaweed [at the beach] last week or I would've recorded it for you. Oh well.
Party time! This is what I was happy-dancing to:
http://youtu.be/ircIECJ-NyM
Thursday, July 3, 2014
July 2014
Woohoo!
No, I haven't finished it yet. It looks like I'm getting a job at a library as a Children's Page!
Blah. I don't know what to put here, still. I'm eating pound cake (July 12th) right now. My friend made it, and it's delicious! Still hot from the oven.
Okay, I'm going through a lazy moment right now, which means it's probably not the best time to write the beginning of this post right now. Hee hee!
Awesome news! I think I'm about 2-4 chapters away from finishing this book! When I'm done, my original plan was to read a book and take a break from my stories, but I don't think that'll work (as you can see, I'm very passionate about it!), so I think I'll read a book and work on revising, editing, and proofreading. Although I'm not as good an editor so as to become one, I can still do a lot to fix writing up pretty well. So, that's what I'm going to do. I'll blog that part, too, as I'll be taking unneeded stuff out and adding some in. I'll let you know when I finish it, though! Thanks for being part of this!
Words Written (Difference f/ Words Date Time Stopped Day
Each Day Last)
_______________________________________________________________________
2,594 (+776) 393,105 1 3:49 AM 193
528 (-2,066) 396,633 2 1:22 AM 194
3,223 (+2,695) 399,856 [2] 8:20 PM [194]
1,132 (-2,091) 400,988 3 1:01 PM 195
1,284 (+152) 402,272 4 2:07 AM 196
4,017 (+2,733) 406,289 5 11:59 PM 197
820 (-3,197) 407,109 6 1:43 AM 198
2,682 (+1,862) 409,791 7 3:21 AM 199
1,081 (-1,601) 410,872 [7] 3:06 PM [199]
8 11:59 PM 200
3,821 (+2,740) 414,693 9 1:50 AM 201
2,210 (-1,611) 416,903 11 4:30 PM 202
2,116 (-94) 419,019 12 1:45 AM 203
2,194 (+78) 421,213 [12] 9:50 PM [203]
1,374 (-820) 422,587 14 7:00 PM 204
O_O I finished it. I... really finished it.
No, I haven't finished it yet. It looks like I'm getting a job at a library as a Children's Page!
Blah. I don't know what to put here, still. I'm eating pound cake (July 12th) right now. My friend made it, and it's delicious! Still hot from the oven.
Okay, I'm going through a lazy moment right now, which means it's probably not the best time to write the beginning of this post right now. Hee hee!
Awesome news! I think I'm about 2-4 chapters away from finishing this book! When I'm done, my original plan was to read a book and take a break from my stories, but I don't think that'll work (as you can see, I'm very passionate about it!), so I think I'll read a book and work on revising, editing, and proofreading. Although I'm not as good an editor so as to become one, I can still do a lot to fix writing up pretty well. So, that's what I'm going to do. I'll blog that part, too, as I'll be taking unneeded stuff out and adding some in. I'll let you know when I finish it, though! Thanks for being part of this!
Words Written (Difference f/ Words Date Time Stopped Day
Each Day Last)
_______________________________________________________________________
2,594 (+776) 393,105 1 3:49 AM 193
528 (-2,066) 396,633 2 1:22 AM 194
3,223 (+2,695) 399,856 [2] 8:20 PM [194]
1,132 (-2,091) 400,988 3 1:01 PM 195
1,284 (+152) 402,272 4 2:07 AM 196
4,017 (+2,733) 406,289 5 11:59 PM 197
820 (-3,197) 407,109 6 1:43 AM 198
2,682 (+1,862) 409,791 7 3:21 AM 199
1,081 (-1,601) 410,872 [7] 3:06 PM [199]
8 11:59 PM 200
3,821 (+2,740) 414,693 9 1:50 AM 201
2,210 (-1,611) 416,903 11 4:30 PM 202
2,116 (-94) 419,019 12 1:45 AM 203
2,194 (+78) 421,213 [12] 9:50 PM [203]
1,374 (-820) 422,587 14 7:00 PM 204
O_O I finished it. I... really finished it.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
June 2014
Woo hoo! I'm almost done! June 20th, 2013 was when I started writing this book, so let's see if I finish by our little anniversary, shall we? But it's not really my goal. If I finish before or after, it won't matter much to me. There are those who try to write by a goal date and end up making their written pieces feel very rushed by the end, and I'm not one of them. When I rush myself, I don't do my best work. Not for writing, anyway.
You can imagine what I was like in school: Feeling constantly stressed and disgusted for being expected to make things so darned perfect by a certain time. Yuck. I'm so glad that's all over. I did better when I was home-schooled, when I learned at my own pace and - well, actually LEARNED.
But, anyways....
Just to say: Part of this month's writing might end up looking a little scattered (I don't know yet, really). Why?
Get this: My Auntie Ann's birthday is June 10th (age 62), my little sister's birthday is June 11th (age 17), and mine is June 12th (age 22). Yes, it is crazy. Very exhausting, too. Imagine this: Having a birthday party for my sister, with her very noisy mentally disabled friends (my sister is autistic) over on one day. On another day, celebrating our "triple birthdays" at a restaurant with our auntie, her kids (older than me), and our grandma. On another day: Calling our Auntie Ann with the annoyingly repetitive Happy Birthday song. The next day, celebrating my sister's birthday with our immediate family. And the day after that: My birthday, likewise. And sometime after that (or before), my birthday party with friends. All this results in utter exhaustion, an ugly dent in people's wallets, some gained weight (which is why I'm having a single cupcake in place of a birthday cake, this time!), and everyone (or is it just me?) being tired of birthdays. Seriously, by the time June 12th comes, I'm begging for it to end.
But, overall, I tolerate it.
It's good it's in June, because then it's an even 6 months away (and after) Christmas. Also, it was pretty awesome to meet my newly-born sister on my 5th birthday. I got to hold her on my lap. But, boy, was she heavy! I was sitting on the couch, and I had to have our brother hold her heavy head up. I remember the whole thing. She was my best birthday gift ever. Funny thing: She, myself, and our mom were all 8 lbs. 11 oz. when we were born.
Oh, yes. The writing log!
Hey, so 180 days is approximately 6 months, so...
WEE!!! I LOVE WRITING!!!
Sorry. Just had to shout that out. :)
Words Written Difference f/ Words Date Time Day
Each Day Last Stopped
___________________________________________________________________
131 (-2,362) 362,271 5 5:30? PM 178
1,211 (+1,080) 363,482 6 2:40 AM 179
2,692 (+1,481) 366,174 [6] 11:30? PM [179]
1,184 (-1,508) 367,358 7 4:15 AM 180
1,377 (+193) 368,735 9 3:26 AM 181
812 (-565) 369,547 10 4:06 AM 182
3,277 (+2,465) 372,824 17 11:08 PM 183
1,101 (-2,176) 373,925 18 2:48 AM 184
690 (-411) 374,615 [18] 8:41 PM [184]
4,324 (+3,634) 378,939 20* 5:45 PM 185
629 (-3695) 379,568 23 1:40 AM 186
1,160 (+531) 380,728 25 2:29 AM 187
1,112 (-48) 381,840 26 3:02 AM 188
697 (-415) 382,537 [26] 4:20? PM [188]
2,140 (+1,443) 384,677 27 11:59 PM 189
2,100 (-40) 386,777 28 3:59 AM 190
707 (-1,393) 387,484 [28] 11:59 PM [190]
1,209 (+502) 388,693 29** 3:18 AM 191
1,1818 (+609) 390,511 30 3:55 AM 192
*YAY!!!! Exactly one year ago, I started writing this book. It was a week after graduation from high school that I started. (After my evil aunt refused to give up my home school proof to the public school system, I had to redo it all over again. She always told me I was a dumb@$$, would never graduate, and that I'd end up flipping burgers somewhere. I'm proving her wrong every day. Hint: Library page job interview coming up!) It was on a Friday, and I had the Natasha Bedingfield song, Unwritten, on my mind. Thanks to my Auditory Processing Disorder (basically, dyslexic ears. To understand, I found a great link that describes me perfectly: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/701.html), I always thought the line went like: "Tuesday is when your book begins." So, I had the idea to start writing my book that next Tuesday. But then, I was too excited. I was like, "Heck with it! I'm starting NOW!" It was on a Friday, but due to my writing tendencies and inability to write around a lot of noise (my family always talks, etc.), I probably started sometime past midnight.
**Hi! Here I am! Still writing. :D I'm writing during the daytime when I can, which explains why there's a lot of PM ending times.
You can imagine what I was like in school: Feeling constantly stressed and disgusted for being expected to make things so darned perfect by a certain time. Yuck. I'm so glad that's all over. I did better when I was home-schooled, when I learned at my own pace and - well, actually LEARNED.
But, anyways....
Just to say: Part of this month's writing might end up looking a little scattered (I don't know yet, really). Why?
Get this: My Auntie Ann's birthday is June 10th (age 62), my little sister's birthday is June 11th (age 17), and mine is June 12th (age 22). Yes, it is crazy. Very exhausting, too. Imagine this: Having a birthday party for my sister, with her very noisy mentally disabled friends (my sister is autistic) over on one day. On another day, celebrating our "triple birthdays" at a restaurant with our auntie, her kids (older than me), and our grandma. On another day: Calling our Auntie Ann with the annoyingly repetitive Happy Birthday song. The next day, celebrating my sister's birthday with our immediate family. And the day after that: My birthday, likewise. And sometime after that (or before), my birthday party with friends. All this results in utter exhaustion, an ugly dent in people's wallets, some gained weight (which is why I'm having a single cupcake in place of a birthday cake, this time!), and everyone (or is it just me?) being tired of birthdays. Seriously, by the time June 12th comes, I'm begging for it to end.
But, overall, I tolerate it.
It's good it's in June, because then it's an even 6 months away (and after) Christmas. Also, it was pretty awesome to meet my newly-born sister on my 5th birthday. I got to hold her on my lap. But, boy, was she heavy! I was sitting on the couch, and I had to have our brother hold her heavy head up. I remember the whole thing. She was my best birthday gift ever. Funny thing: She, myself, and our mom were all 8 lbs. 11 oz. when we were born.
Oh, yes. The writing log!
Hey, so 180 days is approximately 6 months, so...
WEE!!! I LOVE WRITING!!!
Sorry. Just had to shout that out. :)
Words Written Difference f/ Words Date Time Day
Each Day Last Stopped
___________________________________________________________________
131 (-2,362) 362,271 5 5:30? PM 178
1,211 (+1,080) 363,482 6 2:40 AM 179
2,692 (+1,481) 366,174 [6] 11:30? PM [179]
1,184 (-1,508) 367,358 7 4:15 AM 180
1,377 (+193) 368,735 9 3:26 AM 181
812 (-565) 369,547 10 4:06 AM 182
3,277 (+2,465) 372,824 17 11:08 PM 183
1,101 (-2,176) 373,925 18 2:48 AM 184
690 (-411) 374,615 [18] 8:41 PM [184]
4,324 (+3,634) 378,939 20* 5:45 PM 185
629 (-3695) 379,568 23 1:40 AM 186
1,160 (+531) 380,728 25 2:29 AM 187
1,112 (-48) 381,840 26 3:02 AM 188
697 (-415) 382,537 [26] 4:20? PM [188]
2,140 (+1,443) 384,677 27 11:59 PM 189
2,100 (-40) 386,777 28 3:59 AM 190
707 (-1,393) 387,484 [28] 11:59 PM [190]
1,209 (+502) 388,693 29** 3:18 AM 191
1,1818 (+609) 390,511 30 3:55 AM 192
*YAY!!!! Exactly one year ago, I started writing this book. It was a week after graduation from high school that I started. (After my evil aunt refused to give up my home school proof to the public school system, I had to redo it all over again. She always told me I was a dumb@$$, would never graduate, and that I'd end up flipping burgers somewhere. I'm proving her wrong every day. Hint: Library page job interview coming up!) It was on a Friday, and I had the Natasha Bedingfield song, Unwritten, on my mind. Thanks to my Auditory Processing Disorder (basically, dyslexic ears. To understand, I found a great link that describes me perfectly: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/701.html), I always thought the line went like: "Tuesday is when your book begins." So, I had the idea to start writing my book that next Tuesday. But then, I was too excited. I was like, "Heck with it! I'm starting NOW!" It was on a Friday, but due to my writing tendencies and inability to write around a lot of noise (my family always talks, etc.), I probably started sometime past midnight.
**Hi! Here I am! Still writing. :D I'm writing during the daytime when I can, which explains why there's a lot of PM ending times.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
*temporary pause button inserted*
So, Memorial Day weekend was fun and... eventful. I went to the Folklife Festival in Seattle on Saturday and Sunday (my first year) with some friends. We didn't expect the suffocating numbers of people smoking weed. Hahaha. It kind of got to me Saturday night, making me ultra tired when we got back. I was thankful that the constant rain the next day dampened it.
Unfortunately, the rain made it not so fun walking around in. Tired after about 4 hours, we decided to head back.
On the way, though... let's just say that something traumatic happened which left me a little... shaken. Don't worry. We're okay.
Unable to give the details, I'll say this much more: Due to my adrenal glands getting a heavy beating, I'll be taking a short break from writing. It'll be about anywhere from a couple of days to a week, I think. It's just I'm about to hit a spot in my book where it will be a bit too emotionally hard to tackle right now, but I assure you I'll be fine, soon.
Don't worry. I feel sad, too. Every time I feel like writing, I remember what I have to face, and then a squirming knot in my belly says, "Nope! Can't you see this meter is on low??" I need to wait for my steel butterflies to starve and rot into a soft mush before I even attempt to unravel this knot and reinstall my nearly unbreakable wall.
Uhh, shoot. You probably don't know what in the world I just said. Hahaha! Here I am talking like my characters again! That sometimes slips out.
Let me re-phrase it: Every time I feel like writing, I remember where I am in the book (the emotionally hard part I'm about to write that will no doubt overwhelm me to the point of taking a break instead of typically just shedding some tears). Then, when I remember it, I get a feeling like being overwhelmed but not quite (which I've learned is a warning), and I get butterflies in the stomach so bad it makes me feel kind of sick. I feel like I have to wait for my adrenal glands to take a rest and get re-filled after the traumatic experience, which drained me. This isn't me normally, as I've learned to simplify my thoughts and emotions to nearly nothing at will, after having a very rocky childhood.
Wow, that was a mouthful. You can see why I've made a funny way of talking for certain characters of mine. Anyhow....
Oh, by the way: Fun fact: Paramedics can be quite funny, especially when one keeps threatening to sit on you from the lack of room in the ambulance.
P.S. Again, I'm okay. *takes a little ibuprofen* ;)
Unfortunately, the rain made it not so fun walking around in. Tired after about 4 hours, we decided to head back.
On the way, though... let's just say that something traumatic happened which left me a little... shaken. Don't worry. We're okay.
Unable to give the details, I'll say this much more: Due to my adrenal glands getting a heavy beating, I'll be taking a short break from writing. It'll be about anywhere from a couple of days to a week, I think. It's just I'm about to hit a spot in my book where it will be a bit too emotionally hard to tackle right now, but I assure you I'll be fine, soon.
Don't worry. I feel sad, too. Every time I feel like writing, I remember what I have to face, and then a squirming knot in my belly says, "Nope! Can't you see this meter is on low??" I need to wait for my steel butterflies to starve and rot into a soft mush before I even attempt to unravel this knot and reinstall my nearly unbreakable wall.
Uhh, shoot. You probably don't know what in the world I just said. Hahaha! Here I am talking like my characters again! That sometimes slips out.
Let me re-phrase it: Every time I feel like writing, I remember where I am in the book (the emotionally hard part I'm about to write that will no doubt overwhelm me to the point of taking a break instead of typically just shedding some tears). Then, when I remember it, I get a feeling like being overwhelmed but not quite (which I've learned is a warning), and I get butterflies in the stomach so bad it makes me feel kind of sick. I feel like I have to wait for my adrenal glands to take a rest and get re-filled after the traumatic experience, which drained me. This isn't me normally, as I've learned to simplify my thoughts and emotions to nearly nothing at will, after having a very rocky childhood.
Wow, that was a mouthful. You can see why I've made a funny way of talking for certain characters of mine. Anyhow....
Oh, by the way: Fun fact: Paramedics can be quite funny, especially when one keeps threatening to sit on you from the lack of room in the ambulance.
P.S. Again, I'm okay. *takes a little ibuprofen* ;)
Friday, May 2, 2014
May 2014
Almost there! Whew! It's hard to drive a story. Not to say that I'm in a race with a specially-built vehicle that looks like a book, but that it is hard to keep a story focused on one track. That is to say: Having ADHD makes it worse, but when you come up with idea after idea, you tend to make the story go a little off-topic and lengthy.
It's much how I talk in real life (excluding my slight stuttering, my pausing in between words and phrases as I think in bits at a time, and my sometimes forgetting what I was JUST talking about). But at least it keeps my mind creative, whether in the written word or in speech.
Yes, I did say I'm almost there. I'm also getting to the good, exciting part! The action. The strong emotions the characters feel. The conclusion. Such are my favorite parts when writing. But then, that's a common reader's favorite part of a book, as well.
If you ever happen to notice I'm not on the internet as often, especially lately and from now on (@Jennifer_Fulk on Twitter, [I now have a Facebook Author Page I'm starting up] Jennifer Cocoa Fulk on Facebook [Author Page], main Facebook [for those of you whom are my private friends and family], Pinterest, and Google+), I'm probably doing any of these things: Job-hunting (Yes, I took a break after high school just so I could write. But I kind of need to help my mom out now.), writing like crazy, running errands for my mom, going on adventures with friends, or catching some rays because I'm really pale right now.
Uhh, yeah. Two major downfalls I've come across from writing: Pale skin = sunburns in the summer. Sitting down too much = getting a tad chubby in places and a tad skinny in other places.
> Okay, something weird and cool just happened: My cat, Sweetie, whom I've sort of taught how to say "hello" and "num-num" (since cats can't pronounce "food" very easily), just said "num-num" out of nowhere. Now, being a weirdo cat for always having to ask me permission to eat even though there's always food in her bowl and she has the full freedom to just go and eat, I thought she was doing just that. But when I told her to eat, she just stared at me and didn't move a muscle. Wondering why she said "num-num", I thought for a moment... and realized I had forgotten my toast in the toaster. "Oh! My toast! I forgot! Thanks, Sweetie!"
I thank God for Sweetie. He works through even the smallest things to help us out. :3
Little fact: I'd rather have cats than kids (if I ever decide to be in a relationship). Preferably two cats. There's just so much I want to do in life, I don't want a whole bunch of responsibility. Top that off with the health issues that run in my family (Asperger's syndrome, ADHD, APD, Bipolar Disorder, diabetes, depression, colon cancer, heart attack, Alzheimer's Disease, food and airborne allergies, asthma, etc.). I don't want to have kids that suffer from living everyday. Also, since Asperger's runs strongly through the blood (high chances of having Aspergian kids if someone close to you in relation have it), and since both my siblings have it, I especially don't want to risk it.
Better to write, drink tea, adventure around, talk to cats, turn hobbies into dreams, daydream, and just live. Besides, writing this series and other stories will take up most of my lifetime, anyway.
Speaking of which: I wonder if I'll finish writing this book by June 20th (the day I started writing it last year)? O_O 8)
3,424 (+2,735) 340,317 9 12:04 AM 168
5,003 (+1,579) 345,320 10 3:52 AM 169
2,701 (-2,302) 348,021 11 3:47 AM 170
297 (-2,404) 348,318 [11] 4:58 PM [170]
1,795 (+1,498) 350,113 12 4:52 AM 171
3,224 (+1,498) 353,337 14 2:31 AM 172
197 (-3,027) 353,534 16 2:11 AM 173
857 (+660) 354,391 [16] 4:28 AM [173]
629 (-228) 355,020 17 3:56 PM 174
2,083*** (+1,454) 357,103 20 3:44 AM 175
2,544 (+461) 359,647 21 3:57 AM 176
2,493 (-51) 362,140 31**** 3:04 AM 177
*I got the flu for a whole week. So miserable. The battery display on my Chromebook was seemingly malfunctioning. We all thought the battery was going to die soon, but now it's charging properly again. I could have used it when I was sick, but at least I got to write a bunch at the tail end of it. I'm still dry coughing, though. (Today's May 13th) Hopefully it'll go away soon. I got my mom sick, too, but at least today she sounds better than yesterday. It's so weird, because I hardly ever get the flu. It's been so many years, I forgot what it was like. Mostly it's just the cold, and even then I don't get sick very often at all. Of the "sick season", I got sick with a cold last fall, but that's it. I finally had my flu shot in January, but still I got the flu. Is it me, or is this messed up?
**Oops. Forgot to log. But I was sick, anyways.
***Oh? A sudden spike! I wonder what that could mean? ;D One word: War. *so excited*
****What happened to me? Ten days without writing?? In the middle of a war? You'd think I'd be crazy for stopping for that long, but I had a good reason. I got injured from a pretty bad accident (I wasn't driving and never will), and I was mentally/emotionally unable to sit down and write. But don't worry, the injuries weren't bad. I'm recovering nicely. And, as you can see, I'm back to writing again. :)
It's much how I talk in real life (excluding my slight stuttering, my pausing in between words and phrases as I think in bits at a time, and my sometimes forgetting what I was JUST talking about). But at least it keeps my mind creative, whether in the written word or in speech.
Yes, I did say I'm almost there. I'm also getting to the good, exciting part! The action. The strong emotions the characters feel. The conclusion. Such are my favorite parts when writing. But then, that's a common reader's favorite part of a book, as well.
If you ever happen to notice I'm not on the internet as often, especially lately and from now on (@Jennifer_Fulk on Twitter, [I now have a Facebook Author Page I'm starting up] Jennifer Cocoa Fulk on Facebook [Author Page], main Facebook [for those of you whom are my private friends and family], Pinterest, and Google+), I'm probably doing any of these things: Job-hunting (Yes, I took a break after high school just so I could write. But I kind of need to help my mom out now.), writing like crazy, running errands for my mom, going on adventures with friends, or catching some rays because I'm really pale right now.
Uhh, yeah. Two major downfalls I've come across from writing: Pale skin = sunburns in the summer. Sitting down too much = getting a tad chubby in places and a tad skinny in other places.
> Okay, something weird and cool just happened: My cat, Sweetie, whom I've sort of taught how to say "hello" and "num-num" (since cats can't pronounce "food" very easily), just said "num-num" out of nowhere. Now, being a weirdo cat for always having to ask me permission to eat even though there's always food in her bowl and she has the full freedom to just go and eat, I thought she was doing just that. But when I told her to eat, she just stared at me and didn't move a muscle. Wondering why she said "num-num", I thought for a moment... and realized I had forgotten my toast in the toaster. "Oh! My toast! I forgot! Thanks, Sweetie!"
I thank God for Sweetie. He works through even the smallest things to help us out. :3
Little fact: I'd rather have cats than kids (if I ever decide to be in a relationship). Preferably two cats. There's just so much I want to do in life, I don't want a whole bunch of responsibility. Top that off with the health issues that run in my family (Asperger's syndrome, ADHD, APD, Bipolar Disorder, diabetes, depression, colon cancer, heart attack, Alzheimer's Disease, food and airborne allergies, asthma, etc.). I don't want to have kids that suffer from living everyday. Also, since Asperger's runs strongly through the blood (high chances of having Aspergian kids if someone close to you in relation have it), and since both my siblings have it, I especially don't want to risk it.
Better to write, drink tea, adventure around, talk to cats, turn hobbies into dreams, daydream, and just live. Besides, writing this series and other stories will take up most of my lifetime, anyway.
Speaking of which: I wonder if I'll finish writing this book by June 20th (the day I started writing it last year)? O_O 8)
*epic organ music playing*
*fingers prepare to dance on keyboard*
*no, not that kind of keyboard*
Words written (Diff. from Words Date Time Day
each day Last) Stopped
__________________________________________________________________________
1,313 (-180) 332,946 1 2:39 AM 163
1,376 (+63) 334,322 2 4:03 AM 164
1,882 (+506) 336,204 4* 4:17 AM 165
689 (-1,193) 336,893 7 4:25 PM 166
8** 12:34 AM 1673,424 (+2,735) 340,317 9 12:04 AM 168
5,003 (+1,579) 345,320 10 3:52 AM 169
2,701 (-2,302) 348,021 11 3:47 AM 170
297 (-2,404) 348,318 [11] 4:58 PM [170]
1,795 (+1,498) 350,113 12 4:52 AM 171
3,224 (+1,498) 353,337 14 2:31 AM 172
197 (-3,027) 353,534 16 2:11 AM 173
857 (+660) 354,391 [16] 4:28 AM [173]
629 (-228) 355,020 17 3:56 PM 174
2,083*** (+1,454) 357,103 20 3:44 AM 175
2,544 (+461) 359,647 21 3:57 AM 176
2,493 (-51) 362,140 31**** 3:04 AM 177
*I got the flu for a whole week. So miserable. The battery display on my Chromebook was seemingly malfunctioning. We all thought the battery was going to die soon, but now it's charging properly again. I could have used it when I was sick, but at least I got to write a bunch at the tail end of it. I'm still dry coughing, though. (Today's May 13th) Hopefully it'll go away soon. I got my mom sick, too, but at least today she sounds better than yesterday. It's so weird, because I hardly ever get the flu. It's been so many years, I forgot what it was like. Mostly it's just the cold, and even then I don't get sick very often at all. Of the "sick season", I got sick with a cold last fall, but that's it. I finally had my flu shot in January, but still I got the flu. Is it me, or is this messed up?
**Oops. Forgot to log. But I was sick, anyways.
***Oh? A sudden spike! I wonder what that could mean? ;D One word: War. *so excited*
****What happened to me? Ten days without writing?? In the middle of a war? You'd think I'd be crazy for stopping for that long, but I had a good reason. I got injured from a pretty bad accident (I wasn't driving and never will), and I was mentally/emotionally unable to sit down and write. But don't worry, the injuries weren't bad. I'm recovering nicely. And, as you can see, I'm back to writing again. :)
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
April 2014
Say to me, "April showers bring May flowers" and I'll laugh. Where I'm from, it rains more in May than in April, which means flowers start blooming largely in June. One of the reasons why I love June. It's neither too cold nor too hot (though, living in the Convergence Zone can make the weather go back and forth as well), so your nose isn't frozen numb and neither is your sense of smell engulfed in the stench of sweat. It's the best time to smell the flowers and enjoy the (mostly mild) weather.
It's also when the bleeding heart blooms, but sadly, I live in an apartment in the city where trains are howling day and night and so are the cars that pass by. So I can't have a successful garden. It just isn't the same when your plants are so beaten down by noise, light, and air pollution that they grow stunted. One day, one day....
Oh yeah! April Fools Day? Okay, so I'm not a true fanatic of that day, so I leave little surprises instead of lies/jokes that freak people's minds out or cause pain or ear damage: The night before, I dropped several drops of green food coloring in the toilet tank. In the early morning, when my mom gets up to go to work, she naturally uses the bathroom. Get this: When she flushed, the green food coloring came out into the bowl, making her wonder what she ate that night. When she knew that she didn't eat anything especially odd, she experimentally flushed again. Then she knew it was an April Fools prank. (Win!) But then she left a gazillion things for me to find. The cookie jar was upside-down, a Kermit the Frog stuffed toy was sitting in the hallway & staring into the bedroom (I'm sooo glad she didn't use her antique Peewee Herman toy!), and 3 Chicken of the Sea tuna cans were on the bathroom counter with a sign on the door: Chicken Room. Those were fairy lame. But just when I thought I found all of them (there were so many others I didn't mention), she got me with the fake lizard hanging by its tail in the fridge. Yeah. My family's lame. Hope yours was safe and eventful!
Uh oh.
So I got a little stuck (okay, so it was writer's block!) with my book lately, so I started writing a summary containing information regarding some "mildly insignificant" characters. The first character was a page long, but then, something happened where I got so involved with the next character that I incidentally ended up continuing where I was stuck on in the book. (Win!) Unfortunately, it's a little harder than I thought trying to focus back on my main characters (I made the "mildly insignificant" character a little too important). I'm at 23 pages. Other downfall: I haven't been keeping track of how much I've been writing each night in this "summary". Soooo, there's going to be 8 days of blank spots in the writing log.
But that's okay. I did that in the beginning of writing this book. In fact, what I thought I was doing was writing a summary of the 3rd book, but then it turned into writing the actual book. I still have "summary" in the title of the documents.
Every writer has flaws and things to work on. I used to have such poor writing skills, you'd never have thought I'd ever end up as a writer. (At age 13, I still didn't know how to write in paragraphs, my grammar was poor, my spelling was terrible, and things were everywhere in the way that nothing hardly made sense.) These days, it's writing (or rather, staying focused on writing) summaries and plots, making them short and sweet, and I've lately been noticing I need a wider vocabulary.
So, yeah. If you're writing and think that you're terrible, just remember: Even the best writers have some sort of flaws. But we can all overcome them and improve ourselves. Or learn to find a way to work around them. Some writers are so addicted to caffeine, they can't work without it. Other writers are always so stuck with writer's block, they think something's wrong with themselves. Still others feel that there's so many demands in their life, that they don't have any time to write anymore (<-- To those who relate to this one, I once met a writer whose strict rule was to only write 5 minutes a day, and although I personally can't find myself doing that, she's written 3 books. Even the smallest amounts of daily writing adds up.) So, keep writing. Become whatever you dream to be, even if what you dream isn't in reality. ;)
Words Written Difference Words Total Date Time Stopped Day
Each Time From Last (So far)
___________________________________________________________________________
2 146
3 147
4 148
5 149
6 150
7 151
8 152
9 153
10 154
472 (-155) 301,632 15 4:21 AM 155
882 (+410) 302,514 16 5:08 AM 156
3,885 (+3,003) 306,399 *17 5:00 AM 157
3,685 (-200) 310,084 *18 3:43 AM 158
18,472 (+14,787) 328,556 *19 3:57 AM 159
902 (-13,885) 329,458 20 2:35 AM 160
682 (-220) 330,140 21 3:44 AM 161
1,493 (+811) 331,633 26 4:17 AM 162
Posted April 22: *Okay, so I've got it fixed. Found a place to put the "summary" in the main bit. At first I took a break, then I went back to it and felt better. Wrote where I got stuck, preparing it for the operation for a couple of days, and then I transplanted the "summary" into the story. The first day was only a couple of paragraphs (*17) before writing off of it. Then, for the next two days (*18 & *19), the sound of chainsaws roared through the air -- though, I could have sworn I heard the sound of dragon roars were heard along with it. Which makes me think of dragons riding chainsaws through the air like witches on brooms, but I must say: That might be painful. But then, that might explain the reason for the dragons' roars, I daresay. Uh, forgive me. I'm rambling weird stuff, now. *Ahem* Those next two days I copied and pasted what I wrote in the "summary" into my main writing piece, where I also wrote a lot to continue it off, as well.
Hmm. Speaking of rambling, though....
The night before (and into the wee morning of) Easter, I was writing, and getting terribly tired, I couldn't finish a sentence (I couldn't decide how to describe somebody who was sleeping). So, being me [tired] late at night, I started "making fun of" -- or rather, building of from in a wild/weird/crazy/funny fashion -- the perfectly normal sentence. I was literally in the middle of the sentence when I gave up and started thinking up random things. I couldn't help myself. I just typed it as it came. If you are a [late-night] writer and ever get writer's block [and/or tired], try writing random junk. You'll laugh your head [and hands and knees and maybe your eyes just for the heck of it] off.
Here it is: (in brackets was the sentence I was struggling on)
[...his long legs propped up and] that old man is walking on my lawn again. He's blind, but still. It makes me want to yank that cane out of his hand and give him a few whacks. I don't have a lawn. And that man is not old and is not blind. It's a baby hitting a kitten with a plastic golf club toy. It makes me want to yank that golf club out of his hand and give it a few whacks. It takes a few whacks to get a kitten in a hole, but that's fine. That's no kitten, it's a lion. And that baby is a golf ball. OMG The golf lion is choking on it. No matter. I know the Heimlich manure. Balls come out of its anus in two or three days, no problem. I'm sorry, I meant to say, "Heimlich manicure". And no, I'm not going to scratch that old, blind man's anus to get a lawn. I'd rather play golf as a baby riding a kitten into battle. Because playing polo rules in a weird fantasy world. I'm not writing any of this in my book. Just saying. I wrote this at 2:42 AM on Easter 2014, so good night because I have to church a bunny that lays eggs. Sorry, kids. The Easter Bunny ain't real. It's actually an Easter Platypus. But which came first? The Christ or the Easter egg? Not sure where the controversial chicken went but I know it was eyeing the goose who lays the golden eggs the other day. Might want to check if there's any golden chocolate chickens hatchin', 'cause I could've sworn I smelled the combination of eggs and chocolate. I can do a very good impression of a chick peeping around the corn like a tomboy. I feel like watching Tom and Jerry. Shoot. Wi-fi is still down. Must share this weirdness tomorrow at coffee shop. Must shoot a cat and a mouse in a coffee shop. Must go to bed now. It's 2:53 AM and I'm going to have less than 7 hours and hours of sleep at this rat. Sorry, Jerry. I was thinking of dear Ratso. That muppet seriously needs a bath and a comb. Shut up, Me! Must... sleep.
...
Yeah. I was that tired.
Just to say, my book is not weird like this. Though, there IS one character....
I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING! ;-)
"Don't you just love green things?"
*visits Earth, loves Washington (The Evergreen State)*
*doesn't want to leaf*
It's also when the bleeding heart blooms, but sadly, I live in an apartment in the city where trains are howling day and night and so are the cars that pass by. So I can't have a successful garden. It just isn't the same when your plants are so beaten down by noise, light, and air pollution that they grow stunted. One day, one day....
Oh yeah! April Fools Day? Okay, so I'm not a true fanatic of that day, so I leave little surprises instead of lies/jokes that freak people's minds out or cause pain or ear damage: The night before, I dropped several drops of green food coloring in the toilet tank. In the early morning, when my mom gets up to go to work, she naturally uses the bathroom. Get this: When she flushed, the green food coloring came out into the bowl, making her wonder what she ate that night. When she knew that she didn't eat anything especially odd, she experimentally flushed again. Then she knew it was an April Fools prank. (Win!) But then she left a gazillion things for me to find. The cookie jar was upside-down, a Kermit the Frog stuffed toy was sitting in the hallway & staring into the bedroom (I'm sooo glad she didn't use her antique Peewee Herman toy!), and 3 Chicken of the Sea tuna cans were on the bathroom counter with a sign on the door: Chicken Room. Those were fairy lame. But just when I thought I found all of them (there were so many others I didn't mention), she got me with the fake lizard hanging by its tail in the fridge. Yeah. My family's lame. Hope yours was safe and eventful!
Uh oh.
So I got a little stuck (okay, so it was writer's block!) with my book lately, so I started writing a summary containing information regarding some "mildly insignificant" characters. The first character was a page long, but then, something happened where I got so involved with the next character that I incidentally ended up continuing where I was stuck on in the book. (Win!) Unfortunately, it's a little harder than I thought trying to focus back on my main characters (I made the "mildly insignificant" character a little too important). I'm at 23 pages. Other downfall: I haven't been keeping track of how much I've been writing each night in this "summary". Soooo, there's going to be 8 days of blank spots in the writing log.
But that's okay. I did that in the beginning of writing this book. In fact, what I thought I was doing was writing a summary of the 3rd book, but then it turned into writing the actual book. I still have "summary" in the title of the documents.
Every writer has flaws and things to work on. I used to have such poor writing skills, you'd never have thought I'd ever end up as a writer. (At age 13, I still didn't know how to write in paragraphs, my grammar was poor, my spelling was terrible, and things were everywhere in the way that nothing hardly made sense.) These days, it's writing (or rather, staying focused on writing) summaries and plots, making them short and sweet, and I've lately been noticing I need a wider vocabulary.
So, yeah. If you're writing and think that you're terrible, just remember: Even the best writers have some sort of flaws. But we can all overcome them and improve ourselves. Or learn to find a way to work around them. Some writers are so addicted to caffeine, they can't work without it. Other writers are always so stuck with writer's block, they think something's wrong with themselves. Still others feel that there's so many demands in their life, that they don't have any time to write anymore (<-- To those who relate to this one, I once met a writer whose strict rule was to only write 5 minutes a day, and although I personally can't find myself doing that, she's written 3 books. Even the smallest amounts of daily writing adds up.) So, keep writing. Become whatever you dream to be, even if what you dream isn't in reality. ;)
Words Written Difference Words Total Date Time Stopped Day
Each Time From Last (So far)
___________________________________________________________________________
2 146
3 147
4 148
5 149
6 150
7 151
8 152
9 153
10 154
472 (-155) 301,632 15 4:21 AM 155
882 (+410) 302,514 16 5:08 AM 156
3,885 (+3,003) 306,399 *17 5:00 AM 157
3,685 (-200) 310,084 *18 3:43 AM 158
18,472 (+14,787) 328,556 *19 3:57 AM 159
902 (-13,885) 329,458 20 2:35 AM 160
682 (-220) 330,140 21 3:44 AM 161
1,493 (+811) 331,633 26 4:17 AM 162
Posted April 22: *Okay, so I've got it fixed. Found a place to put the "summary" in the main bit. At first I took a break, then I went back to it and felt better. Wrote where I got stuck, preparing it for the operation for a couple of days, and then I transplanted the "summary" into the story. The first day was only a couple of paragraphs (*17) before writing off of it. Then, for the next two days (*18 & *19), the sound of chainsaws roared through the air -- though, I could have sworn I heard the sound of dragon roars were heard along with it. Which makes me think of dragons riding chainsaws through the air like witches on brooms, but I must say: That might be painful. But then, that might explain the reason for the dragons' roars, I daresay. Uh, forgive me. I'm rambling weird stuff, now. *Ahem* Those next two days I copied and pasted what I wrote in the "summary" into my main writing piece, where I also wrote a lot to continue it off, as well.
Hmm. Speaking of rambling, though....
The night before (and into the wee morning of) Easter, I was writing, and getting terribly tired, I couldn't finish a sentence (I couldn't decide how to describe somebody who was sleeping). So, being me [tired] late at night, I started "making fun of" -- or rather, building of from in a wild/weird/crazy/funny fashion -- the perfectly normal sentence. I was literally in the middle of the sentence when I gave up and started thinking up random things. I couldn't help myself. I just typed it as it came. If you are a [late-night] writer and ever get writer's block [and/or tired], try writing random junk. You'll laugh your head [and hands and knees and maybe your eyes just for the heck of it] off.
Here it is: (in brackets was the sentence I was struggling on)
[...his long legs propped up and] that old man is walking on my lawn again. He's blind, but still. It makes me want to yank that cane out of his hand and give him a few whacks. I don't have a lawn. And that man is not old and is not blind. It's a baby hitting a kitten with a plastic golf club toy. It makes me want to yank that golf club out of his hand and give it a few whacks. It takes a few whacks to get a kitten in a hole, but that's fine. That's no kitten, it's a lion. And that baby is a golf ball. OMG The golf lion is choking on it. No matter. I know the Heimlich manure. Balls come out of its anus in two or three days, no problem. I'm sorry, I meant to say, "Heimlich manicure". And no, I'm not going to scratch that old, blind man's anus to get a lawn. I'd rather play golf as a baby riding a kitten into battle. Because playing polo rules in a weird fantasy world. I'm not writing any of this in my book. Just saying. I wrote this at 2:42 AM on Easter 2014, so good night because I have to church a bunny that lays eggs. Sorry, kids. The Easter Bunny ain't real. It's actually an Easter Platypus. But which came first? The Christ or the Easter egg? Not sure where the controversial chicken went but I know it was eyeing the goose who lays the golden eggs the other day. Might want to check if there's any golden chocolate chickens hatchin', 'cause I could've sworn I smelled the combination of eggs and chocolate. I can do a very good impression of a chick peeping around the corn like a tomboy. I feel like watching Tom and Jerry. Shoot. Wi-fi is still down. Must share this weirdness tomorrow at coffee shop. Must shoot a cat and a mouse in a coffee shop. Must go to bed now. It's 2:53 AM and I'm going to have less than 7 hours and hours of sleep at this rat. Sorry, Jerry. I was thinking of dear Ratso. That muppet seriously needs a bath and a comb. Shut up, Me! Must... sleep.
...
Yeah. I was that tired.
Just to say, my book is not weird like this. Though, there IS one character....
I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING! ;-)
"Don't you just love green things?"
*visits Earth, loves Washington (The Evergreen State)*
*doesn't want to leaf*
Thursday, March 6, 2014
March 2014
The dragons are marching one-by-one. Hoorah, hoorah....
Okay, that was really corny, but whatever.
My brother turned 25 on March 5th. Hoorah, hoorah. Unfortunately he's in jail (he doesn't live with us for good reasons) for trying to sell a hunting knife in a thrift shop to customers. Dumb, I know. He has Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, and some brain damage from when he was born (cord wrapped around forehead, wasn't breathing). The services he's getting isn't doing hardly anything to help him, to find meds that work so he can behave himself.
But enough about my weird roller coaster life. That's for another book to be written in the far future.
The dragons are marching two-by-two. Hoorah, hoorah....
Words Written Difference from Words Date Time Stopped Day
Each Time Last
___________________________________________________________________________
2,071 (-1,186) 279,560 Mar 2 4:11 AM 137
3,324 (+1,253) 282,884 Mar 3 5:24 AM 138
3,516 (+192) 282,400 Mar 4 5:24 AM 139
510 (-3,006) 282,910 [Mar 4] 8:26 PM [139]
3,611 (+3,101) 286,521 Mar 5 6:08 AM 140
1,549 (-2,062) 292,070 Mar 6 5:33 AM 141
3,961 (+2,412) 296,031 Mar 8 4:11 AM 142
566 (-3,395) 296,597 [Mar 8] 9-10? PM [142]
1,117 (+551) 297,714 Mar 11 5:10 AM 143
2,819 (+1,702) 300,533 :) Mar 12* 4:46 AM 144
*Mar 12: Lol I was very tired, but I couldn't stop writing. My black Siamese-mix cat, Sweetie, can never quite feel comfortable until I'm in bed. She can also sense when something is wrong. Sweetie is very sweet, understanding me when other humans don't. So, finally, she got up on my lap, looked me squarely in the eye, and meowed at me. She has a way of persuasion, using the right tones, almost mimicking our tones. Needless to say, I knew she meant it, so I went to bed. I thank the Lord for Sweetie. *Meanwhile, she purrs on my lap as I'm typing this* "Ouch! Dang it! She bit my nose!" Yeah. She has a few bad habits, but I still love her. <3
Woohoo! March 23 - 31: I had an excellent excuse for not writing! An adventure-loving friend picked me up and so I stayed for just over a week in Bellevue at her house. (She's the same one that steals me for a weekend sometimes. A writer as well, she also works as a barista and goes to college. She's a total extrovert and gets depressed when she's alone for long periods of time and, because I'm always open and hardly ever busy, I'm her top pick for going on much-needed adventures. :)
We went hiking (My first time actually hiking! I've always wanted to because I've always felt I belonged with nature and the woods, my mom's entire childhood filled with every weekend going hiking everywhere with her parents, dog, and 4 sisters, and because I've had so many dreams of hiking.) up Wilderness Peak (approx. 1,600 ft) on the Cougar Mountain Regional Wildland Park trails. Weird thing: I've always felt like I was up there. We hiked 11 miles in 5 hours, about 2.2 mph and it was awesome. I totally recommend going there. At the end of the "Fitness Challenge", there's a bench to sit on and also a box on the trunk of a tree containing a journal that you can write in of your successful climb (or whatever you want). We noticed there were a lot of haikus written in there (some very funny ones, too), so my friend and I each wrote a haiku. Mine is funny. I'm not telling you what I wrote, though: You have to hike there, yourself! :D
Another day, we tried frog's legs for the first time. The flesh looks like and has the texture of watery chicken, and the taste is like chicken with a sort of fishy/pond-like taste. I liked it okay. I'm neither wild for it, nor disgusted by it. I'm kind of annoyed by how thin the bones are, and especially annoyed by the joints that you end up chomping on. My suggestion: Take little bites around the ends. The dish was served at a child-friendly bar/restaurant in Issaquah, and you get 4 legs for $12. Good food there.
That Saturday was the original reason I stayed for the week: A bunch of college/church friends cramming in two vehicles to go see Frozen and The Lego Movie back-to-back in the Shelton Drive-In Movie theater. Decent prices: $7 for every adult. Just like the old time drive-in movie theaters, only instead of speaker boxes hanging on your window, all you need to do is tune in to a radio station to hear the movie. It's awesome if you have a great sound system. The only thing I didn't like was that their salted pretzels were way too salty. Good variety of food choices though. Suggestion if you plan on going there: Make sure you get in line early so you don't have to wait forever in the line of cars. ;)
Okay, that was really corny, but whatever.
My brother turned 25 on March 5th. Hoorah, hoorah. Unfortunately he's in jail (he doesn't live with us for good reasons) for trying to sell a hunting knife in a thrift shop to customers. Dumb, I know. He has Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, and some brain damage from when he was born (cord wrapped around forehead, wasn't breathing). The services he's getting isn't doing hardly anything to help him, to find meds that work so he can behave himself.
But enough about my weird roller coaster life. That's for another book to be written in the far future.
The dragons are marching two-by-two. Hoorah, hoorah....
Words Written Difference from Words Date Time Stopped Day
Each Time Last
___________________________________________________________________________
2,071 (-1,186) 279,560 Mar 2 4:11 AM 137
3,324 (+1,253) 282,884 Mar 3 5:24 AM 138
3,516 (+192) 282,400 Mar 4 5:24 AM 139
510 (-3,006) 282,910 [Mar 4] 8:26 PM [139]
3,611 (+3,101) 286,521 Mar 5 6:08 AM 140
1,549 (-2,062) 292,070 Mar 6 5:33 AM 141
3,961 (+2,412) 296,031 Mar 8 4:11 AM 142
566 (-3,395) 296,597 [Mar 8] 9-10? PM [142]
1,117 (+551) 297,714 Mar 11 5:10 AM 143
2,819 (+1,702) 300,533 :) Mar 12* 4:46 AM 144
*Mar 12: Lol I was very tired, but I couldn't stop writing. My black Siamese-mix cat, Sweetie, can never quite feel comfortable until I'm in bed. She can also sense when something is wrong. Sweetie is very sweet, understanding me when other humans don't. So, finally, she got up on my lap, looked me squarely in the eye, and meowed at me. She has a way of persuasion, using the right tones, almost mimicking our tones. Needless to say, I knew she meant it, so I went to bed. I thank the Lord for Sweetie. *Meanwhile, she purrs on my lap as I'm typing this* "Ouch! Dang it! She bit my nose!" Yeah. She has a few bad habits, but I still love her. <3
Woohoo! March 23 - 31: I had an excellent excuse for not writing! An adventure-loving friend picked me up and so I stayed for just over a week in Bellevue at her house. (She's the same one that steals me for a weekend sometimes. A writer as well, she also works as a barista and goes to college. She's a total extrovert and gets depressed when she's alone for long periods of time and, because I'm always open and hardly ever busy, I'm her top pick for going on much-needed adventures. :)
We went hiking (My first time actually hiking! I've always wanted to because I've always felt I belonged with nature and the woods, my mom's entire childhood filled with every weekend going hiking everywhere with her parents, dog, and 4 sisters, and because I've had so many dreams of hiking.) up Wilderness Peak (approx. 1,600 ft) on the Cougar Mountain Regional Wildland Park trails. Weird thing: I've always felt like I was up there. We hiked 11 miles in 5 hours, about 2.2 mph and it was awesome. I totally recommend going there. At the end of the "Fitness Challenge", there's a bench to sit on and also a box on the trunk of a tree containing a journal that you can write in of your successful climb (or whatever you want). We noticed there were a lot of haikus written in there (some very funny ones, too), so my friend and I each wrote a haiku. Mine is funny. I'm not telling you what I wrote, though: You have to hike there, yourself! :D
Another day, we tried frog's legs for the first time. The flesh looks like and has the texture of watery chicken, and the taste is like chicken with a sort of fishy/pond-like taste. I liked it okay. I'm neither wild for it, nor disgusted by it. I'm kind of annoyed by how thin the bones are, and especially annoyed by the joints that you end up chomping on. My suggestion: Take little bites around the ends. The dish was served at a child-friendly bar/restaurant in Issaquah, and you get 4 legs for $12. Good food there.
That Saturday was the original reason I stayed for the week: A bunch of college/church friends cramming in two vehicles to go see Frozen and The Lego Movie back-to-back in the Shelton Drive-In Movie theater. Decent prices: $7 for every adult. Just like the old time drive-in movie theaters, only instead of speaker boxes hanging on your window, all you need to do is tune in to a radio station to hear the movie. It's awesome if you have a great sound system. The only thing I didn't like was that their salted pretzels were way too salty. Good variety of food choices though. Suggestion if you plan on going there: Make sure you get in line early so you don't have to wait forever in the line of cars. ;)
Monday, February 17, 2014
February 2014
Ohhh, internet. I am addicted to you. Fortunately, the wi-fi I have access to at home (my neighbors don't even know who owns it or where it comes from) comes and goes. Just recently, it went down for several days and so I got to writing some exciting scenes.
I think I might be able to finish the book in the rough estimate of 80,000 words or less. Already, I'm on Chapter 100 (each have about six pages in 12 and 11 font of Palatino Linotype and Book Antiqua within four dinosauric Microsoft Works Word Processor documents). Yeah, yeah. It sounds like a lot, and that's why editing, etc. comes in after the writing bit is over: Take unneeded stuff out, add a little in here and there, reorganize everything, fix up grammar and spelling, replace words with better ones... the list goes on.
Almost there! *so excited, about to explode into a gazillion pieces all over desk* *wait, that sounds gorey*
Words Written
(Difference from last) Words Date Time Stopped Day
______________________________________________________________
1,923 (+350) 256,898 Feb 9 4:09 AM 128
3,448 (+1,525) 260,346 Feb 11 1:41 AM 129
4,344 (+896) 264,690 Feb 12 3:44 AM 130
561 (-3,783) 265,251 Feb 13 3:08 AM 131
910 (+349) 266,161 Feb 14 3:58 AM 132
2,529 (+1,619) 268,290 Feb 15 4:09 AM 133
2,797 (+268) 271,487 Feb 16 4:15 AM 134
2,745 (-52) 274,232 Feb 27 4:35 AM 135
3,257 (+512) 277,489 Feb 28 4:30 AM 136
Stupid short month, you make me look bad! Okay, maybe it was the internet surfing... and the fact that I don't know how to swim. Ha ha, I'm so punny! I could laugh so hard my jaw could dislocate and swallow an egg whole. Then I could look around at the staring faces and slither back into my hobbit hole again, only to tiptoe around on the other side, lock the other door, and swallow the key ring of power.
Okayyy, I don't know what I said just now, so I think I need to go to bed. But I don't see that happening any time soon. I'm at my most creative at night, where everybody is asleep and *finally* quiet so I can actually concentrate. Occassionally, everybody's quiet enough for me to write. That doesn't happen often, but whatever. I don't feel like dancing my fingers on this blog post anymore. Time to dance with my story.
I think I might be able to finish the book in the rough estimate of 80,000 words or less. Already, I'm on Chapter 100 (each have about six pages in 12 and 11 font of Palatino Linotype and Book Antiqua within four dinosauric Microsoft Works Word Processor documents). Yeah, yeah. It sounds like a lot, and that's why editing, etc. comes in after the writing bit is over: Take unneeded stuff out, add a little in here and there, reorganize everything, fix up grammar and spelling, replace words with better ones... the list goes on.
Almost there! *so excited, about to explode into a gazillion pieces all over desk* *wait, that sounds gorey*
Words Written
(Difference from last) Words Date Time Stopped Day
______________________________________________________________
1,923 (+350) 256,898 Feb 9 4:09 AM 128
3,448 (+1,525) 260,346 Feb 11 1:41 AM 129
4,344 (+896) 264,690 Feb 12 3:44 AM 130
561 (-3,783) 265,251 Feb 13 3:08 AM 131
910 (+349) 266,161 Feb 14 3:58 AM 132
2,529 (+1,619) 268,290 Feb 15 4:09 AM 133
2,797 (+268) 271,487 Feb 16 4:15 AM 134
2,745 (-52) 274,232 Feb 27 4:35 AM 135
3,257 (+512) 277,489 Feb 28 4:30 AM 136
Stupid short month, you make me look bad! Okay, maybe it was the internet surfing... and the fact that I don't know how to swim. Ha ha, I'm so punny! I could laugh so hard my jaw could dislocate and swallow an egg whole. Then I could look around at the staring faces and slither back into my hobbit hole again, only to tiptoe around on the other side, lock the other door, and swallow the key ring of power.
Okayyy, I don't know what I said just now, so I think I need to go to bed. But I don't see that happening any time soon. I'm at my most creative at night, where everybody is asleep and *finally* quiet so I can actually concentrate. Occassionally, everybody's quiet enough for me to write. That doesn't happen often, but whatever. I don't feel like dancing my fingers on this blog post anymore. Time to dance with my story.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
A Weird Way to Write a Book Series
In the many years to come, as I work on one book in the series after the other, you may notice some color coding in my writing log blogs. Kind of like how Christopher Paolini's The Inheritance Cycle is color-coded: Blue is important in his first book, as it introduces Saphira. Red is important in the second, as it introduces Thorn. And so on.
So, there's color-coding. What else? Add elemental powers, dragons, elves, other creatures and peoples, powers controlled by the mind rather than by spells, a lot of outer space, and you get... this. As of right now, I have some clues lying in the design of my Twitter (Jennifer Cocoa Fulk > @Jennifer_Fulk). Blue and red, black and white, space, dragon, planets.... All are clues of what I'm writing.
Now, combining of what you now know, you have: Elements, dragons, elves, powers, space, blue, red, black, white, planets.
Unfortunately, I still need to write the first two books. Why'd I do that?
Well... long story. Worth reading.
Never knew what to be when grew up.
Watched a lot of Animal Planet at ages 9 - 12+.
Talked to aunt (living with) about being a veterinarian.
Was told that there were risks involved (including bites & losing patients), as well as need for being good in school.
Was very stupid in school (age 12, was bad at everything, had bad spelling & grammar, couldn't write in paragraphs, behind in math [still am mentally retarded in math], hated history [no longer now, thanks to an awesome high school history teacher who was - and still is - obsessed with Star Wars], etc.).
Cried in bedroom and begged God in prayer to give me many big dreams and talents that would help me make up for my "past worthlessness".
Month later had a dream that inspired me to "write it all down so I can remember it" because it was so cool and amazing and realistic that I began to feel like it was the real reality that had been there the whole time.
Wrote it Feb - May of 2005 (12 1/2 - almost 13 years old), often skipping my homework (Concentration was bad and frustrating with an abusive aunt to be home-schooled by = Who would blame me?).
Went back and read it (a bunch of lined notebook papers clumsily stapled together), shook my head at not being able to understand certain words and to read through the confusingly bad grammar I had, wishing I knew how to write in paragraphs.
Gave myself the goal of "Since most authors are smart, I'll have to try my hardest to be as close to that as I can".
By next year, was a lot better (How in the world did I do that????).
In January of 2006, had another dream of the same characters, only with a lot of new characters, woke up and realized it was the second book calling out to me, so I started writing it.
Got caught by my aunt, was told "never to write ever again".
Was bummed for the rest of the school year, but still daydreamed and so planned out a bit more of the book, as well as a short series of daydreams on what I then decided would be the 3rd book (now recently and permanently trashed) (Ha! I just now recalled the original name of it! [lame!] Triple Trouble [fun to say fast, though]).
In late August of that year, started daydreaming at night (there seriously needs to be a word for that) of what I deemed to be the 4th book (now the 3rd book, which I'm writing right now!), started writing it.
In January of 2007, was about to get off Winter Vacation and go back to my home-school center I'd go to once a week, when my aunt discovered I was behind on my fantasy literature class (this was in 9th grade), even though my teacher discussed with me that she give me extra slack for having poor concentration (which I seriously couldn't help).
My aunt pulled me completely out of the home school center, where I was to not have any human contact outside my aunt, my cousin, and my grandma for three years (which is NOT a good thing for ANYBODY to go through).
Was depressed for a half year, before feeling like on the brink of insanity and realizing that it would have a negative impact on my future dreams in life, pulling myself out of it.
Lived in my bedroom for the rest of the time until my aunt's abuse got worse and more strange (never physical), where I put together a plan on how to get out (not easy, but it involved my hospitalization).
Told the nurses and doctors of what was going on, so I got to go live with my mom and sister again.
In that event, I also lost all my writing, poetry, ideas, cassette tapes where I created extremely funny stories using radio recording and experimental voice-acting, songs I wrote, drawings and sketches, acrylic paintings, carved rocks, cool rock collections, a stuffed pink cat from when I was born and an identical one when I turned 7, games and game systems, and numerous other things. (For everything that was paper, including my [3rd book I'm rewriting right now], I knew she would do something with them and it would greatly distress me as to what she would be doing with it, part of my extensive escape plan was also throwing everything in the recycle bin the morning the recycle truck would come [the only reason why I was allowed outside was just to throw out my garbage and recycling every morning -- and yes, I WAS afraid of her chasing after me if I planned to run away to a neighbor's house for help, because she always was watching me]).
After a few years of recuperating, started writing the 1st book again.
Had to pay more attention to school (had to restart high school all over again after my aunt refused to give up my home school proof to the public school system, claiming that she didn't have it).
Graduated and realized I had forgotten the password to the file of the 1st book.
Decided that it'd be better anyway to make summaries of the 3rd, 4th, & 5th books anyway because it was all in my head after daydreaming nearly the entire series with the time I had spent locked in my bedroom (I didn't want to forget anything important).
Aaaaaaaaand... I ended up writing the 3rd book (I have that bad habit of being lengthy in summaries and essays). I think I'm 3/4 of the way through writing the whole book, now.
I feel guilty for writing the 3rd book first, even though I've had support from people I've mentioned this to. They've all said it sounds like a great idea. One distant cousin of mine (IQ of 160) was totally for it, saying that it's like how Star Wars was written.
But I'm starting in the MIDDLE of this series. Doesn't that sound crazy to you? Let me know what you think.
So, there's color-coding. What else? Add elemental powers, dragons, elves, other creatures and peoples, powers controlled by the mind rather than by spells, a lot of outer space, and you get... this. As of right now, I have some clues lying in the design of my Twitter (Jennifer Cocoa Fulk > @Jennifer_Fulk). Blue and red, black and white, space, dragon, planets.... All are clues of what I'm writing.
Now, combining of what you now know, you have: Elements, dragons, elves, powers, space, blue, red, black, white, planets.
Unfortunately, I still need to write the first two books. Why'd I do that?
Well... long story. Worth reading.
Never knew what to be when grew up.
Watched a lot of Animal Planet at ages 9 - 12+.
Talked to aunt (living with) about being a veterinarian.
Was told that there were risks involved (including bites & losing patients), as well as need for being good in school.
Was very stupid in school (age 12, was bad at everything, had bad spelling & grammar, couldn't write in paragraphs, behind in math [still am mentally retarded in math], hated history [no longer now, thanks to an awesome high school history teacher who was - and still is - obsessed with Star Wars], etc.).
Cried in bedroom and begged God in prayer to give me many big dreams and talents that would help me make up for my "past worthlessness".
Month later had a dream that inspired me to "write it all down so I can remember it" because it was so cool and amazing and realistic that I began to feel like it was the real reality that had been there the whole time.
Wrote it Feb - May of 2005 (12 1/2 - almost 13 years old), often skipping my homework (Concentration was bad and frustrating with an abusive aunt to be home-schooled by = Who would blame me?).
Went back and read it (a bunch of lined notebook papers clumsily stapled together), shook my head at not being able to understand certain words and to read through the confusingly bad grammar I had, wishing I knew how to write in paragraphs.
Gave myself the goal of "Since most authors are smart, I'll have to try my hardest to be as close to that as I can".
By next year, was a lot better (How in the world did I do that????).
In January of 2006, had another dream of the same characters, only with a lot of new characters, woke up and realized it was the second book calling out to me, so I started writing it.
Got caught by my aunt, was told "never to write ever again".
Was bummed for the rest of the school year, but still daydreamed and so planned out a bit more of the book, as well as a short series of daydreams on what I then decided would be the 3rd book (now recently and permanently trashed) (Ha! I just now recalled the original name of it! [lame!] Triple Trouble [fun to say fast, though]).
In late August of that year, started daydreaming at night (there seriously needs to be a word for that) of what I deemed to be the 4th book (now the 3rd book, which I'm writing right now!), started writing it.
In January of 2007, was about to get off Winter Vacation and go back to my home-school center I'd go to once a week, when my aunt discovered I was behind on my fantasy literature class (this was in 9th grade), even though my teacher discussed with me that she give me extra slack for having poor concentration (which I seriously couldn't help).
My aunt pulled me completely out of the home school center, where I was to not have any human contact outside my aunt, my cousin, and my grandma for three years (which is NOT a good thing for ANYBODY to go through).
Was depressed for a half year, before feeling like on the brink of insanity and realizing that it would have a negative impact on my future dreams in life, pulling myself out of it.
Lived in my bedroom for the rest of the time until my aunt's abuse got worse and more strange (never physical), where I put together a plan on how to get out (not easy, but it involved my hospitalization).
Told the nurses and doctors of what was going on, so I got to go live with my mom and sister again.
In that event, I also lost all my writing, poetry, ideas, cassette tapes where I created extremely funny stories using radio recording and experimental voice-acting, songs I wrote, drawings and sketches, acrylic paintings, carved rocks, cool rock collections, a stuffed pink cat from when I was born and an identical one when I turned 7, games and game systems, and numerous other things. (For everything that was paper, including my [3rd book I'm rewriting right now], I knew she would do something with them and it would greatly distress me as to what she would be doing with it, part of my extensive escape plan was also throwing everything in the recycle bin the morning the recycle truck would come [the only reason why I was allowed outside was just to throw out my garbage and recycling every morning -- and yes, I WAS afraid of her chasing after me if I planned to run away to a neighbor's house for help, because she always was watching me]).
After a few years of recuperating, started writing the 1st book again.
Had to pay more attention to school (had to restart high school all over again after my aunt refused to give up my home school proof to the public school system, claiming that she didn't have it).
Graduated and realized I had forgotten the password to the file of the 1st book.
Decided that it'd be better anyway to make summaries of the 3rd, 4th, & 5th books anyway because it was all in my head after daydreaming nearly the entire series with the time I had spent locked in my bedroom (I didn't want to forget anything important).
Aaaaaaaaand... I ended up writing the 3rd book (I have that bad habit of being lengthy in summaries and essays). I think I'm 3/4 of the way through writing the whole book, now.
I feel guilty for writing the 3rd book first, even though I've had support from people I've mentioned this to. They've all said it sounds like a great idea. One distant cousin of mine (IQ of 160) was totally for it, saying that it's like how Star Wars was written.
But I'm starting in the MIDDLE of this series. Doesn't that sound crazy to you? Let me know what you think.
Unrelated:
Here's a random picture of me making funny face selfies (I do it just for fun, to make myself laugh away my boredom, and because I'm weird) as my cat, Sweetie, happens to yawn at just the right moment:Monday, January 6, 2014
A Few Thoughts on the Polar Vortex
Okay, did my main character and the people of her kind suddenly turn evil and explode their icy energy over there in the East or something? Ugh. I have friends and family over there!
For some reason, I keep imagining clips of the movie, "The Day After Tomorrow" playing over and over in my head, particularly when there were frozen bodies lying around without a shiver. I hope all the homeless people found plenty of warm shelters.
Prayers for all in keeping warm and well-fed. That's all I have to say. :)
For some reason, I keep imagining clips of the movie, "The Day After Tomorrow" playing over and over in my head, particularly when there were frozen bodies lying around without a shiver. I hope all the homeless people found plenty of warm shelters.
Prayers for all in keeping warm and well-fed. That's all I have to say. :)
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
January 2014
A new year, a new beginning. Sort of.
I'm in the middle of the book. Or else more than half-way. Heh, I've made a list of things/events in the story to still put in, in any case. I'm on chapter 90. The average chapter contains six pages, 11 font Palatino Linotype and Book Antiqua (I have the story divided into four files, so far. Two have approximately 60,000 words, one has over 98,000 words, and the fourth has over 25,000 words).
I've been writing this book on a 2005 Sony VAIO PCG-7D2L. It's big and bulky, heavy, the battery is slowly dying, and I love it. Large keys, big screen: What's not to love? Okay, so it's a broken, mute dinosaur -- so what? At least Microsoft Works Word Processor is good enough for me to write whatever comes to my fancy.
Every writer is different, with different tastes. Except when I have trouble deciding which pen to use out of the whole handful I keep in my purse! That's common. The obsession with writing utensils (even though I type). But hey, owning 56 is nothing. A lot of writers actually pay good money for certain kinds of pens to their liking, or else they absolutely HAVE to hoard. For me, I'm not that desperate or picky (except for big and bulky or heavy ones: Yuck! Mostly I like the fun, annoying, clicky kind). I've gotten most every single one of mine for free, just for going to free events such as job fairs, home shows, etc. Yeah. Just for the freebies. Lol
My favorite clicky pen makes a funny squeak instead of a click. Now every time you come across such a pen, you can think of me: An annoying lady letting out a loud, bubbly cackle as she squeaks her pen nonstop.
Oh, yeah! Did you happen to notice how there was a 23 day period (starting in November and ended in late December) where I was barely writing anything, even sometimes logging in a negative number? Well, to make this short, I was originally writing with no paragraphs, no chapters, and no quotation marks. Just to see if I wrote faster than usual.
Well, I did, but the problem was: Later, I couldn't go back when I couldn't remember if I had already had a character do or say something. I couldn't find it. In my frustration, I had to go back and edit the whole thing. I also highlighted and color-coded whenever certain main characters spoke or thought anything. At times, I noticed things I wanted to take out or add in, thus the logging. It looks much better, now. AND I am writing in the NORMAL way! Although I didn't learn how to write in paragraphs until I was 14, I am quite easily able to do so, now. I'm just weird like any other person who likes to self-analyze and conduct weird tests. What I learned is that no paragraphs = no more writer's block = confusion later = frustration next = Imma firin mah lazer = Fix it, Felix! = 23 days is almost a freaking-out month = Yay!
So, yeah.
Words written each day Words Date Time Stopped Day
(Diff. from last)
___________________________________________________________________
I'm in the middle of the book. Or else more than half-way. Heh, I've made a list of things/events in the story to still put in, in any case. I'm on chapter 90. The average chapter contains six pages, 11 font Palatino Linotype and Book Antiqua (I have the story divided into four files, so far. Two have approximately 60,000 words, one has over 98,000 words, and the fourth has over 25,000 words).
I've been writing this book on a 2005 Sony VAIO PCG-7D2L. It's big and bulky, heavy, the battery is slowly dying, and I love it. Large keys, big screen: What's not to love? Okay, so it's a broken, mute dinosaur -- so what? At least Microsoft Works Word Processor is good enough for me to write whatever comes to my fancy.
Every writer is different, with different tastes. Except when I have trouble deciding which pen to use out of the whole handful I keep in my purse! That's common. The obsession with writing utensils (even though I type). But hey, owning 56 is nothing. A lot of writers actually pay good money for certain kinds of pens to their liking, or else they absolutely HAVE to hoard. For me, I'm not that desperate or picky (except for big and bulky or heavy ones: Yuck! Mostly I like the fun, annoying, clicky kind). I've gotten most every single one of mine for free, just for going to free events such as job fairs, home shows, etc. Yeah. Just for the freebies. Lol
My favorite clicky pen makes a funny squeak instead of a click. Now every time you come across such a pen, you can think of me: An annoying lady letting out a loud, bubbly cackle as she squeaks her pen nonstop.
Oh, yeah! Did you happen to notice how there was a 23 day period (starting in November and ended in late December) where I was barely writing anything, even sometimes logging in a negative number? Well, to make this short, I was originally writing with no paragraphs, no chapters, and no quotation marks. Just to see if I wrote faster than usual.
Well, I did, but the problem was: Later, I couldn't go back when I couldn't remember if I had already had a character do or say something. I couldn't find it. In my frustration, I had to go back and edit the whole thing. I also highlighted and color-coded whenever certain main characters spoke or thought anything. At times, I noticed things I wanted to take out or add in, thus the logging. It looks much better, now. AND I am writing in the NORMAL way! Although I didn't learn how to write in paragraphs until I was 14, I am quite easily able to do so, now. I'm just weird like any other person who likes to self-analyze and conduct weird tests. What I learned is that no paragraphs = no more writer's block = confusion later = frustration next = Imma firin mah lazer = Fix it, Felix! = 23 days is almost a freaking-out month = Yay!
So, yeah.
Words written each day Words Date Time Stopped Day
(Diff. from last)
___________________________________________________________________
2,355 (+562) 244,168 Jan 1 5:39 AM Day 120
1,108 (-1,247) 245,276 Jan 6 4:14 AM Day 1211,016 (-92) 246,292 Jan 14 3:36 AM Day 122146 (-870) 246,438 Jan 23 3:58 AM Day 1232,869 (+2,723) 249,307 Jan 26 4:01 AM Day 1241,430 (-1,439) 250,737 Jan 27 4:34 AM Day 1252,665 (+1,235) 253,402 Jan 29 5:30 AM Day 1261,573 (-1,092) 254,975 Jan 30 3:53 AM Day 127Durr, being brainwashed by attractive internet, must focus....Hey! I got sick (a.k.a. low-grade fever, nose explosions a.k.a. sneezing, and blowing up my nose a.k.a. blowing my nose) and wi-fi was down the whole time + a couple of days afterwards! Got all my mixed papers (old unfinished stories, ideas, notes, graded papers from high school I've kept, etc.) organized into folders and containers + wrote a lot because of it. Heh heh heh. *feeling guilty*
Looking Back... And Forward
Happy Birthday, 2014!
Back in 2007, I remember writing something down that I still smile at the thought of whenever a new year comes:
"Each year begins with a new light. A light that tends to fade as it gets closer to its end. A light we can't see, yet look forward to."
That was a [school year, 2006-2007] that I was coming up with a bunch of stuff. New ideas, new dreams, discovering talents I never thought I had, etc. That was around the same time I was first writing this book (that was destroyed before it was finished). During the summer of 2006, I was daydreaming at night (what I named "gazedreaming", as it is silly to call it daydreaming when it is at night) of events that were realized to be in the third book (this one). So, starting in September or late August, I started writing in the covers at night (my over-controlling, abusive aunt, whom I was living with at the time, didn't want me to "write ever again". So, I had to write in secrecy. I wasn't going to let her kill my writing dreams. [Oh, yeah. I have four aunts. Only that one is mean. She bears a resemblance to how a bipolar behaves. Nice, mean, nice, mean. Our relationship to her is now: She is nice to send us stuff, but we never communicate/spend time with her). I probably wrote a good fourth of the book before the controlling and abuse got worse and I had to stop.
The start of 2007 was looking optimistic. I wrote the quote above about new years coming and going, made plans to continue writing and discovering dreams, and then -- BAM! My aunt found out that I was a couple of months behind on my homework for my Fantasy Literature: Tolkien class.
I always struggled in school, had trouble concentrating, had memory problems, etc. I more than likely had ADD. The fast pace of the class and the abuse didn't make it any better, either. The teacher allowed me extra time and extra slack, but my aunt didn't care. She took me out of all my classes at the Christian home school center and put me into what I called, "lone school". No internet, no phone calls, no pen pals. I couldn't communicate with my friends, couldn't communicate with cousins, couldn't even go to church. I was often put on "room restriction" for day, weeks, or months for small mistakes I did such as being literally 2 minutes late to bed or forgetting to clean the litter box one morning. The thing is: Stress makes you forgetful. And I was under a lot of it.
For six months, I went under depression. I didn't know it at the time, but I was depressed. After six months, in mid July, I felt like I was going insane. I was afraid that being so depressed was going to affect my future, my dreams, my stories. I pulled myself out of it. I learned to dull my emotions, where I could just blank out the stress, the sadness, the anger, and I somehow pulled out of my depression. It didn't improve my overall situation, but at least I felt better. It took me about two or three weeks, as I remember, to completely pull out of it.
Although I don't talk often about how I finally escaped my aunt's, I can say that it was relieving. Being traumatized, it took 1 or 2 years for me to really get back to thinking about my stories again. Even longer for me to break from writer's block.
Being unable to fight my aunt for proof of my homeschooling (This was a month before I was supposed to graduate in 2010, and I was almost 18 years-old), the public school system had no choice but to have me redo high school all over again. Thankfully, I took some tests, including IQ and HSPE, so I was able to earn credits. I found out that my process for thinking was slower than the average person's, and my mathematical skills were Elementary school level (I'm still mentally disabled in math). But, I was happy to learn that my reading and writing skills were better than the average Senior, and that my IQ level was upper average.
I didn't want to NOT graduate. I didn't want to get a GED, either (which I felt was kind of like cheating, in some way -- But not towards others, mind you. Only to myself. I had a close friend and neighbor get her GED). I figured that I would go with it, since I didn't know anybody in the neighborhood, I really needed help with my math skills, wanted to improve my writing skills even more, thought it'd be fun to take choir and photography and whatever other classes sounded fun (and free!), wanted to see what public high school was like, and -- more than anything -- prove to my aunt that I wasn't "stupid", that I WOULD graduate, and that I wouldn't end up flipping burgers at some fast food chain.
It was so hard, but it was so fun and so worth it. I made a lot of friends, both out of teachers and kids, and I even became Vice-President and later President of the school creative writer's club (Trust me, even THAT job isn't easy!). I graduated. At the ceremony, I sang a solo with the choir (others had solos, too) in the song, Heart and Music by William Finn: "If I only had the time, what I would write for your delight!"
Now, about 7 months later, I'm in the middle of writing a book. I've been looking for a job on and off, but I think I'll add more seriousness to my search, now. Hopefully, I'll find one that I can use my talents with. With the 3 extra years of school, I don't see myself going to college any time soon. Even if I had a scholarship or student loans, I would still have to pay for books and other materials, as well as race to find a job within 6 months after getting out of college. (Half of graduates who try to don't make it and end up going into debt. Personally, I don't want to be in that half, so I think I'll wait until those statistics improve, thank you.) I'm too poor, anyhow.
Freedom to choose who you want to be and what you want to do in your life shouldn't have to come with a ball and chain to weigh you down. It should come with wings. And if you ever end up getting a ball and chain along with those wings, flap hard until you break free. Trust me, hardships are often long and hard (story of my entire childhood), but in the end it makes you stronger -- even if you feel it's the opposite.
So, flap those wings. And fly.
God bless you all, and have a wonderful 2014.
Back in 2007, I remember writing something down that I still smile at the thought of whenever a new year comes:
"Each year begins with a new light. A light that tends to fade as it gets closer to its end. A light we can't see, yet look forward to."
That was a [school year, 2006-2007] that I was coming up with a bunch of stuff. New ideas, new dreams, discovering talents I never thought I had, etc. That was around the same time I was first writing this book (that was destroyed before it was finished). During the summer of 2006, I was daydreaming at night (what I named "gazedreaming", as it is silly to call it daydreaming when it is at night) of events that were realized to be in the third book (this one). So, starting in September or late August, I started writing in the covers at night (my over-controlling, abusive aunt, whom I was living with at the time, didn't want me to "write ever again". So, I had to write in secrecy. I wasn't going to let her kill my writing dreams. [Oh, yeah. I have four aunts. Only that one is mean. She bears a resemblance to how a bipolar behaves. Nice, mean, nice, mean. Our relationship to her is now: She is nice to send us stuff, but we never communicate/spend time with her). I probably wrote a good fourth of the book before the controlling and abuse got worse and I had to stop.
The start of 2007 was looking optimistic. I wrote the quote above about new years coming and going, made plans to continue writing and discovering dreams, and then -- BAM! My aunt found out that I was a couple of months behind on my homework for my Fantasy Literature: Tolkien class.
I always struggled in school, had trouble concentrating, had memory problems, etc. I more than likely had ADD. The fast pace of the class and the abuse didn't make it any better, either. The teacher allowed me extra time and extra slack, but my aunt didn't care. She took me out of all my classes at the Christian home school center and put me into what I called, "lone school". No internet, no phone calls, no pen pals. I couldn't communicate with my friends, couldn't communicate with cousins, couldn't even go to church. I was often put on "room restriction" for day, weeks, or months for small mistakes I did such as being literally 2 minutes late to bed or forgetting to clean the litter box one morning. The thing is: Stress makes you forgetful. And I was under a lot of it.
For six months, I went under depression. I didn't know it at the time, but I was depressed. After six months, in mid July, I felt like I was going insane. I was afraid that being so depressed was going to affect my future, my dreams, my stories. I pulled myself out of it. I learned to dull my emotions, where I could just blank out the stress, the sadness, the anger, and I somehow pulled out of my depression. It didn't improve my overall situation, but at least I felt better. It took me about two or three weeks, as I remember, to completely pull out of it.
Although I don't talk often about how I finally escaped my aunt's, I can say that it was relieving. Being traumatized, it took 1 or 2 years for me to really get back to thinking about my stories again. Even longer for me to break from writer's block.
Being unable to fight my aunt for proof of my homeschooling (This was a month before I was supposed to graduate in 2010, and I was almost 18 years-old), the public school system had no choice but to have me redo high school all over again. Thankfully, I took some tests, including IQ and HSPE, so I was able to earn credits. I found out that my process for thinking was slower than the average person's, and my mathematical skills were Elementary school level (I'm still mentally disabled in math). But, I was happy to learn that my reading and writing skills were better than the average Senior, and that my IQ level was upper average.
I didn't want to NOT graduate. I didn't want to get a GED, either (which I felt was kind of like cheating, in some way -- But not towards others, mind you. Only to myself. I had a close friend and neighbor get her GED). I figured that I would go with it, since I didn't know anybody in the neighborhood, I really needed help with my math skills, wanted to improve my writing skills even more, thought it'd be fun to take choir and photography and whatever other classes sounded fun (and free!), wanted to see what public high school was like, and -- more than anything -- prove to my aunt that I wasn't "stupid", that I WOULD graduate, and that I wouldn't end up flipping burgers at some fast food chain.
It was so hard, but it was so fun and so worth it. I made a lot of friends, both out of teachers and kids, and I even became Vice-President and later President of the school creative writer's club (Trust me, even THAT job isn't easy!). I graduated. At the ceremony, I sang a solo with the choir (others had solos, too) in the song, Heart and Music by William Finn: "If I only had the time, what I would write for your delight!"
Now, about 7 months later, I'm in the middle of writing a book. I've been looking for a job on and off, but I think I'll add more seriousness to my search, now. Hopefully, I'll find one that I can use my talents with. With the 3 extra years of school, I don't see myself going to college any time soon. Even if I had a scholarship or student loans, I would still have to pay for books and other materials, as well as race to find a job within 6 months after getting out of college. (Half of graduates who try to don't make it and end up going into debt. Personally, I don't want to be in that half, so I think I'll wait until those statistics improve, thank you.) I'm too poor, anyhow.
Freedom to choose who you want to be and what you want to do in your life shouldn't have to come with a ball and chain to weigh you down. It should come with wings. And if you ever end up getting a ball and chain along with those wings, flap hard until you break free. Trust me, hardships are often long and hard (story of my entire childhood), but in the end it makes you stronger -- even if you feel it's the opposite.
So, flap those wings. And fly.
God bless you all, and have a wonderful 2014.
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