The dragons are marching one-by-one. Hoorah, hoorah....
Okay, that was really corny, but whatever.
My brother turned 25 on March 5th. Hoorah, hoorah. Unfortunately he's in jail (he doesn't live with us for good reasons) for trying to sell a hunting knife in a thrift shop to customers. Dumb, I know. He has Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, and some brain damage from when he was born (cord wrapped around forehead, wasn't breathing). The services he's getting isn't doing hardly anything to help him, to find meds that work so he can behave himself.
But enough about my weird roller coaster life. That's for another book to be written in the far future.
The dragons are marching two-by-two. Hoorah, hoorah....
Words Written Difference from Words Date Time Stopped Day
Each Time Last
___________________________________________________________________________
2,071 (-1,186) 279,560 Mar 2 4:11 AM 137
3,324 (+1,253) 282,884 Mar 3 5:24 AM 138
3,516 (+192) 282,400 Mar 4 5:24 AM 139
510 (-3,006) 282,910 [Mar 4] 8:26 PM [139]
3,611 (+3,101) 286,521 Mar 5 6:08 AM 140
1,549 (-2,062) 292,070 Mar 6 5:33 AM 141
3,961 (+2,412) 296,031 Mar 8 4:11 AM 142
566 (-3,395) 296,597 [Mar 8] 9-10? PM [142]
1,117 (+551) 297,714 Mar 11 5:10 AM 143
2,819 (+1,702) 300,533 :) Mar 12* 4:46 AM 144
*Mar 12: Lol I was very tired, but I couldn't stop writing. My black Siamese-mix cat, Sweetie, can never quite feel comfortable until I'm in bed. She can also sense when something is wrong. Sweetie is very sweet, understanding me when other humans don't. So, finally, she got up on my lap, looked me squarely in the eye, and meowed at me. She has a way of persuasion, using the right tones, almost mimicking our tones. Needless to say, I knew she meant it, so I went to bed. I thank the Lord for Sweetie. *Meanwhile, she purrs on my lap as I'm typing this* "Ouch! Dang it! She bit my nose!" Yeah. She has a few bad habits, but I still love her. <3
Woohoo! March 23 - 31: I had an excellent excuse for not writing! An adventure-loving friend picked me up and so I stayed for just over a week in Bellevue at her house. (She's the same one that steals me for a weekend sometimes. A writer as well, she also works as a barista and goes to college. She's a total extrovert and gets depressed when she's alone for long periods of time and, because I'm always open and hardly ever busy, I'm her top pick for going on much-needed adventures. :)
We went hiking (My first time actually hiking! I've always wanted to because I've always felt I belonged with nature and the woods, my mom's entire childhood filled with every weekend going hiking everywhere with her parents, dog, and 4 sisters, and because I've had so many dreams of hiking.) up Wilderness Peak (approx. 1,600 ft) on the Cougar Mountain Regional Wildland Park trails. Weird thing: I've always felt like I was up there. We hiked 11 miles in 5 hours, about 2.2 mph and it was awesome. I totally recommend going there. At the end of the "Fitness Challenge", there's a bench to sit on and also a box on the trunk of a tree containing a journal that you can write in of your successful climb (or whatever you want). We noticed there were a lot of haikus written in there (some very funny ones, too), so my friend and I each wrote a haiku. Mine is funny. I'm not telling you what I wrote, though: You have to hike there, yourself! :D
Another day, we tried frog's legs for the first time. The flesh looks like and has the texture of watery chicken, and the taste is like chicken with a sort of fishy/pond-like taste. I liked it okay. I'm neither wild for it, nor disgusted by it. I'm kind of annoyed by how thin the bones are, and especially annoyed by the joints that you end up chomping on. My suggestion: Take little bites around the ends. The dish was served at a child-friendly bar/restaurant in Issaquah, and you get 4 legs for $12. Good food there.
That Saturday was the original reason I stayed for the week: A bunch of college/church friends cramming in two vehicles to go see Frozen and The Lego Movie back-to-back in the Shelton Drive-In Movie theater. Decent prices: $7 for every adult. Just like the old time drive-in movie theaters, only instead of speaker boxes hanging on your window, all you need to do is tune in to a radio station to hear the movie. It's awesome if you have a great sound system. The only thing I didn't like was that their salted pretzels were way too salty. Good variety of food choices though. Suggestion if you plan on going there: Make sure you get in line early so you don't have to wait forever in the line of cars. ;)
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Monday, February 17, 2014
February 2014
Ohhh, internet. I am addicted to you. Fortunately, the wi-fi I have access to at home (my neighbors don't even know who owns it or where it comes from) comes and goes. Just recently, it went down for several days and so I got to writing some exciting scenes.
I think I might be able to finish the book in the rough estimate of 80,000 words or less. Already, I'm on Chapter 100 (each have about six pages in 12 and 11 font of Palatino Linotype and Book Antiqua within four dinosauric Microsoft Works Word Processor documents). Yeah, yeah. It sounds like a lot, and that's why editing, etc. comes in after the writing bit is over: Take unneeded stuff out, add a little in here and there, reorganize everything, fix up grammar and spelling, replace words with better ones... the list goes on.
Almost there! *so excited, about to explode into a gazillion pieces all over desk* *wait, that sounds gorey*
Words Written
(Difference from last) Words Date Time Stopped Day
______________________________________________________________
1,923 (+350) 256,898 Feb 9 4:09 AM 128
3,448 (+1,525) 260,346 Feb 11 1:41 AM 129
4,344 (+896) 264,690 Feb 12 3:44 AM 130
561 (-3,783) 265,251 Feb 13 3:08 AM 131
910 (+349) 266,161 Feb 14 3:58 AM 132
2,529 (+1,619) 268,290 Feb 15 4:09 AM 133
2,797 (+268) 271,487 Feb 16 4:15 AM 134
2,745 (-52) 274,232 Feb 27 4:35 AM 135
3,257 (+512) 277,489 Feb 28 4:30 AM 136
Stupid short month, you make me look bad! Okay, maybe it was the internet surfing... and the fact that I don't know how to swim. Ha ha, I'm so punny! I could laugh so hard my jaw could dislocate and swallow an egg whole. Then I could look around at the staring faces and slither back into my hobbit hole again, only to tiptoe around on the other side, lock the other door, and swallow the key ring of power.
Okayyy, I don't know what I said just now, so I think I need to go to bed. But I don't see that happening any time soon. I'm at my most creative at night, where everybody is asleep and *finally* quiet so I can actually concentrate. Occassionally, everybody's quiet enough for me to write. That doesn't happen often, but whatever. I don't feel like dancing my fingers on this blog post anymore. Time to dance with my story.
I think I might be able to finish the book in the rough estimate of 80,000 words or less. Already, I'm on Chapter 100 (each have about six pages in 12 and 11 font of Palatino Linotype and Book Antiqua within four dinosauric Microsoft Works Word Processor documents). Yeah, yeah. It sounds like a lot, and that's why editing, etc. comes in after the writing bit is over: Take unneeded stuff out, add a little in here and there, reorganize everything, fix up grammar and spelling, replace words with better ones... the list goes on.
Almost there! *so excited, about to explode into a gazillion pieces all over desk* *wait, that sounds gorey*
Words Written
(Difference from last) Words Date Time Stopped Day
______________________________________________________________
1,923 (+350) 256,898 Feb 9 4:09 AM 128
3,448 (+1,525) 260,346 Feb 11 1:41 AM 129
4,344 (+896) 264,690 Feb 12 3:44 AM 130
561 (-3,783) 265,251 Feb 13 3:08 AM 131
910 (+349) 266,161 Feb 14 3:58 AM 132
2,529 (+1,619) 268,290 Feb 15 4:09 AM 133
2,797 (+268) 271,487 Feb 16 4:15 AM 134
2,745 (-52) 274,232 Feb 27 4:35 AM 135
3,257 (+512) 277,489 Feb 28 4:30 AM 136
Stupid short month, you make me look bad! Okay, maybe it was the internet surfing... and the fact that I don't know how to swim. Ha ha, I'm so punny! I could laugh so hard my jaw could dislocate and swallow an egg whole. Then I could look around at the staring faces and slither back into my hobbit hole again, only to tiptoe around on the other side, lock the other door, and swallow the key ring of power.
Okayyy, I don't know what I said just now, so I think I need to go to bed. But I don't see that happening any time soon. I'm at my most creative at night, where everybody is asleep and *finally* quiet so I can actually concentrate. Occassionally, everybody's quiet enough for me to write. That doesn't happen often, but whatever. I don't feel like dancing my fingers on this blog post anymore. Time to dance with my story.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
A Weird Way to Write a Book Series
In the many years to come, as I work on one book in the series after the other, you may notice some color coding in my writing log blogs. Kind of like how Christopher Paolini's The Inheritance Cycle is color-coded: Blue is important in his first book, as it introduces Saphira. Red is important in the second, as it introduces Thorn. And so on.
So, there's color-coding. What else? Add elemental powers, dragons, elves, other creatures and peoples, powers controlled by the mind rather than by spells, a lot of outer space, and you get... this. As of right now, I have some clues lying in the design of my Twitter (Jennifer Cocoa Fulk > @Jennifer_Fulk). Blue and red, black and white, space, dragon, planets.... All are clues of what I'm writing.
Now, combining of what you now know, you have: Elements, dragons, elves, powers, space, blue, red, black, white, planets.
Unfortunately, I still need to write the first two books. Why'd I do that?
Well... long story. Worth reading.
Never knew what to be when grew up.
Watched a lot of Animal Planet at ages 9 - 12+.
Talked to aunt (living with) about being a veterinarian.
Was told that there were risks involved (including bites & losing patients), as well as need for being good in school.
Was very stupid in school (age 12, was bad at everything, had bad spelling & grammar, couldn't write in paragraphs, behind in math [still am mentally retarded in math], hated history [no longer now, thanks to an awesome high school history teacher who was - and still is - obsessed with Star Wars], etc.).
Cried in bedroom and begged God in prayer to give me many big dreams and talents that would help me make up for my "past worthlessness".
Month later had a dream that inspired me to "write it all down so I can remember it" because it was so cool and amazing and realistic that I began to feel like it was the real reality that had been there the whole time.
Wrote it Feb - May of 2005 (12 1/2 - almost 13 years old), often skipping my homework (Concentration was bad and frustrating with an abusive aunt to be home-schooled by = Who would blame me?).
Went back and read it (a bunch of lined notebook papers clumsily stapled together), shook my head at not being able to understand certain words and to read through the confusingly bad grammar I had, wishing I knew how to write in paragraphs.
Gave myself the goal of "Since most authors are smart, I'll have to try my hardest to be as close to that as I can".
By next year, was a lot better (How in the world did I do that????).
In January of 2006, had another dream of the same characters, only with a lot of new characters, woke up and realized it was the second book calling out to me, so I started writing it.
Got caught by my aunt, was told "never to write ever again".
Was bummed for the rest of the school year, but still daydreamed and so planned out a bit more of the book, as well as a short series of daydreams on what I then decided would be the 3rd book (now recently and permanently trashed) (Ha! I just now recalled the original name of it! [lame!] Triple Trouble [fun to say fast, though]).
In late August of that year, started daydreaming at night (there seriously needs to be a word for that) of what I deemed to be the 4th book (now the 3rd book, which I'm writing right now!), started writing it.
In January of 2007, was about to get off Winter Vacation and go back to my home-school center I'd go to once a week, when my aunt discovered I was behind on my fantasy literature class (this was in 9th grade), even though my teacher discussed with me that she give me extra slack for having poor concentration (which I seriously couldn't help).
My aunt pulled me completely out of the home school center, where I was to not have any human contact outside my aunt, my cousin, and my grandma for three years (which is NOT a good thing for ANYBODY to go through).
Was depressed for a half year, before feeling like on the brink of insanity and realizing that it would have a negative impact on my future dreams in life, pulling myself out of it.
Lived in my bedroom for the rest of the time until my aunt's abuse got worse and more strange (never physical), where I put together a plan on how to get out (not easy, but it involved my hospitalization).
Told the nurses and doctors of what was going on, so I got to go live with my mom and sister again.
In that event, I also lost all my writing, poetry, ideas, cassette tapes where I created extremely funny stories using radio recording and experimental voice-acting, songs I wrote, drawings and sketches, acrylic paintings, carved rocks, cool rock collections, a stuffed pink cat from when I was born and an identical one when I turned 7, games and game systems, and numerous other things. (For everything that was paper, including my [3rd book I'm rewriting right now], I knew she would do something with them and it would greatly distress me as to what she would be doing with it, part of my extensive escape plan was also throwing everything in the recycle bin the morning the recycle truck would come [the only reason why I was allowed outside was just to throw out my garbage and recycling every morning -- and yes, I WAS afraid of her chasing after me if I planned to run away to a neighbor's house for help, because she always was watching me]).
After a few years of recuperating, started writing the 1st book again.
Had to pay more attention to school (had to restart high school all over again after my aunt refused to give up my home school proof to the public school system, claiming that she didn't have it).
Graduated and realized I had forgotten the password to the file of the 1st book.
Decided that it'd be better anyway to make summaries of the 3rd, 4th, & 5th books anyway because it was all in my head after daydreaming nearly the entire series with the time I had spent locked in my bedroom (I didn't want to forget anything important).
Aaaaaaaaand... I ended up writing the 3rd book (I have that bad habit of being lengthy in summaries and essays). I think I'm 3/4 of the way through writing the whole book, now.
I feel guilty for writing the 3rd book first, even though I've had support from people I've mentioned this to. They've all said it sounds like a great idea. One distant cousin of mine (IQ of 160) was totally for it, saying that it's like how Star Wars was written.
But I'm starting in the MIDDLE of this series. Doesn't that sound crazy to you? Let me know what you think.
So, there's color-coding. What else? Add elemental powers, dragons, elves, other creatures and peoples, powers controlled by the mind rather than by spells, a lot of outer space, and you get... this. As of right now, I have some clues lying in the design of my Twitter (Jennifer Cocoa Fulk > @Jennifer_Fulk). Blue and red, black and white, space, dragon, planets.... All are clues of what I'm writing.
Now, combining of what you now know, you have: Elements, dragons, elves, powers, space, blue, red, black, white, planets.
Unfortunately, I still need to write the first two books. Why'd I do that?
Well... long story. Worth reading.
Never knew what to be when grew up.
Watched a lot of Animal Planet at ages 9 - 12+.
Talked to aunt (living with) about being a veterinarian.
Was told that there were risks involved (including bites & losing patients), as well as need for being good in school.
Was very stupid in school (age 12, was bad at everything, had bad spelling & grammar, couldn't write in paragraphs, behind in math [still am mentally retarded in math], hated history [no longer now, thanks to an awesome high school history teacher who was - and still is - obsessed with Star Wars], etc.).
Cried in bedroom and begged God in prayer to give me many big dreams and talents that would help me make up for my "past worthlessness".
Month later had a dream that inspired me to "write it all down so I can remember it" because it was so cool and amazing and realistic that I began to feel like it was the real reality that had been there the whole time.
Wrote it Feb - May of 2005 (12 1/2 - almost 13 years old), often skipping my homework (Concentration was bad and frustrating with an abusive aunt to be home-schooled by = Who would blame me?).
Went back and read it (a bunch of lined notebook papers clumsily stapled together), shook my head at not being able to understand certain words and to read through the confusingly bad grammar I had, wishing I knew how to write in paragraphs.
Gave myself the goal of "Since most authors are smart, I'll have to try my hardest to be as close to that as I can".
By next year, was a lot better (How in the world did I do that????).
In January of 2006, had another dream of the same characters, only with a lot of new characters, woke up and realized it was the second book calling out to me, so I started writing it.
Got caught by my aunt, was told "never to write ever again".
Was bummed for the rest of the school year, but still daydreamed and so planned out a bit more of the book, as well as a short series of daydreams on what I then decided would be the 3rd book (now recently and permanently trashed) (Ha! I just now recalled the original name of it! [lame!] Triple Trouble [fun to say fast, though]).
In late August of that year, started daydreaming at night (there seriously needs to be a word for that) of what I deemed to be the 4th book (now the 3rd book, which I'm writing right now!), started writing it.
In January of 2007, was about to get off Winter Vacation and go back to my home-school center I'd go to once a week, when my aunt discovered I was behind on my fantasy literature class (this was in 9th grade), even though my teacher discussed with me that she give me extra slack for having poor concentration (which I seriously couldn't help).
My aunt pulled me completely out of the home school center, where I was to not have any human contact outside my aunt, my cousin, and my grandma for three years (which is NOT a good thing for ANYBODY to go through).
Was depressed for a half year, before feeling like on the brink of insanity and realizing that it would have a negative impact on my future dreams in life, pulling myself out of it.
Lived in my bedroom for the rest of the time until my aunt's abuse got worse and more strange (never physical), where I put together a plan on how to get out (not easy, but it involved my hospitalization).
Told the nurses and doctors of what was going on, so I got to go live with my mom and sister again.
In that event, I also lost all my writing, poetry, ideas, cassette tapes where I created extremely funny stories using radio recording and experimental voice-acting, songs I wrote, drawings and sketches, acrylic paintings, carved rocks, cool rock collections, a stuffed pink cat from when I was born and an identical one when I turned 7, games and game systems, and numerous other things. (For everything that was paper, including my [3rd book I'm rewriting right now], I knew she would do something with them and it would greatly distress me as to what she would be doing with it, part of my extensive escape plan was also throwing everything in the recycle bin the morning the recycle truck would come [the only reason why I was allowed outside was just to throw out my garbage and recycling every morning -- and yes, I WAS afraid of her chasing after me if I planned to run away to a neighbor's house for help, because she always was watching me]).
After a few years of recuperating, started writing the 1st book again.
Had to pay more attention to school (had to restart high school all over again after my aunt refused to give up my home school proof to the public school system, claiming that she didn't have it).
Graduated and realized I had forgotten the password to the file of the 1st book.
Decided that it'd be better anyway to make summaries of the 3rd, 4th, & 5th books anyway because it was all in my head after daydreaming nearly the entire series with the time I had spent locked in my bedroom (I didn't want to forget anything important).
Aaaaaaaaand... I ended up writing the 3rd book (I have that bad habit of being lengthy in summaries and essays). I think I'm 3/4 of the way through writing the whole book, now.
I feel guilty for writing the 3rd book first, even though I've had support from people I've mentioned this to. They've all said it sounds like a great idea. One distant cousin of mine (IQ of 160) was totally for it, saying that it's like how Star Wars was written.
But I'm starting in the MIDDLE of this series. Doesn't that sound crazy to you? Let me know what you think.
Unrelated:
Here's a random picture of me making funny face selfies (I do it just for fun, to make myself laugh away my boredom, and because I'm weird) as my cat, Sweetie, happens to yawn at just the right moment:Monday, January 6, 2014
A Few Thoughts on the Polar Vortex
Okay, did my main character and the people of her kind suddenly turn evil and explode their icy energy over there in the East or something? Ugh. I have friends and family over there!
For some reason, I keep imagining clips of the movie, "The Day After Tomorrow" playing over and over in my head, particularly when there were frozen bodies lying around without a shiver. I hope all the homeless people found plenty of warm shelters.
Prayers for all in keeping warm and well-fed. That's all I have to say. :)
For some reason, I keep imagining clips of the movie, "The Day After Tomorrow" playing over and over in my head, particularly when there were frozen bodies lying around without a shiver. I hope all the homeless people found plenty of warm shelters.
Prayers for all in keeping warm and well-fed. That's all I have to say. :)
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
January 2014
A new year, a new beginning. Sort of.
I'm in the middle of the book. Or else more than half-way. Heh, I've made a list of things/events in the story to still put in, in any case. I'm on chapter 90. The average chapter contains six pages, 11 font Palatino Linotype and Book Antiqua (I have the story divided into four files, so far. Two have approximately 60,000 words, one has over 98,000 words, and the fourth has over 25,000 words).
I've been writing this book on a 2005 Sony VAIO PCG-7D2L. It's big and bulky, heavy, the battery is slowly dying, and I love it. Large keys, big screen: What's not to love? Okay, so it's a broken, mute dinosaur -- so what? At least Microsoft Works Word Processor is good enough for me to write whatever comes to my fancy.
Every writer is different, with different tastes. Except when I have trouble deciding which pen to use out of the whole handful I keep in my purse! That's common. The obsession with writing utensils (even though I type). But hey, owning 56 is nothing. A lot of writers actually pay good money for certain kinds of pens to their liking, or else they absolutely HAVE to hoard. For me, I'm not that desperate or picky (except for big and bulky or heavy ones: Yuck! Mostly I like the fun, annoying, clicky kind). I've gotten most every single one of mine for free, just for going to free events such as job fairs, home shows, etc. Yeah. Just for the freebies. Lol
My favorite clicky pen makes a funny squeak instead of a click. Now every time you come across such a pen, you can think of me: An annoying lady letting out a loud, bubbly cackle as she squeaks her pen nonstop.
Oh, yeah! Did you happen to notice how there was a 23 day period (starting in November and ended in late December) where I was barely writing anything, even sometimes logging in a negative number? Well, to make this short, I was originally writing with no paragraphs, no chapters, and no quotation marks. Just to see if I wrote faster than usual.
Well, I did, but the problem was: Later, I couldn't go back when I couldn't remember if I had already had a character do or say something. I couldn't find it. In my frustration, I had to go back and edit the whole thing. I also highlighted and color-coded whenever certain main characters spoke or thought anything. At times, I noticed things I wanted to take out or add in, thus the logging. It looks much better, now. AND I am writing in the NORMAL way! Although I didn't learn how to write in paragraphs until I was 14, I am quite easily able to do so, now. I'm just weird like any other person who likes to self-analyze and conduct weird tests. What I learned is that no paragraphs = no more writer's block = confusion later = frustration next = Imma firin mah lazer = Fix it, Felix! = 23 days is almost a freaking-out month = Yay!
So, yeah.
Words written each day Words Date Time Stopped Day
(Diff. from last)
___________________________________________________________________
I'm in the middle of the book. Or else more than half-way. Heh, I've made a list of things/events in the story to still put in, in any case. I'm on chapter 90. The average chapter contains six pages, 11 font Palatino Linotype and Book Antiqua (I have the story divided into four files, so far. Two have approximately 60,000 words, one has over 98,000 words, and the fourth has over 25,000 words).
I've been writing this book on a 2005 Sony VAIO PCG-7D2L. It's big and bulky, heavy, the battery is slowly dying, and I love it. Large keys, big screen: What's not to love? Okay, so it's a broken, mute dinosaur -- so what? At least Microsoft Works Word Processor is good enough for me to write whatever comes to my fancy.
Every writer is different, with different tastes. Except when I have trouble deciding which pen to use out of the whole handful I keep in my purse! That's common. The obsession with writing utensils (even though I type). But hey, owning 56 is nothing. A lot of writers actually pay good money for certain kinds of pens to their liking, or else they absolutely HAVE to hoard. For me, I'm not that desperate or picky (except for big and bulky or heavy ones: Yuck! Mostly I like the fun, annoying, clicky kind). I've gotten most every single one of mine for free, just for going to free events such as job fairs, home shows, etc. Yeah. Just for the freebies. Lol
My favorite clicky pen makes a funny squeak instead of a click. Now every time you come across such a pen, you can think of me: An annoying lady letting out a loud, bubbly cackle as she squeaks her pen nonstop.
Oh, yeah! Did you happen to notice how there was a 23 day period (starting in November and ended in late December) where I was barely writing anything, even sometimes logging in a negative number? Well, to make this short, I was originally writing with no paragraphs, no chapters, and no quotation marks. Just to see if I wrote faster than usual.
Well, I did, but the problem was: Later, I couldn't go back when I couldn't remember if I had already had a character do or say something. I couldn't find it. In my frustration, I had to go back and edit the whole thing. I also highlighted and color-coded whenever certain main characters spoke or thought anything. At times, I noticed things I wanted to take out or add in, thus the logging. It looks much better, now. AND I am writing in the NORMAL way! Although I didn't learn how to write in paragraphs until I was 14, I am quite easily able to do so, now. I'm just weird like any other person who likes to self-analyze and conduct weird tests. What I learned is that no paragraphs = no more writer's block = confusion later = frustration next = Imma firin mah lazer = Fix it, Felix! = 23 days is almost a freaking-out month = Yay!
So, yeah.
Words written each day Words Date Time Stopped Day
(Diff. from last)
___________________________________________________________________
2,355 (+562) 244,168 Jan 1 5:39 AM Day 120
1,108 (-1,247) 245,276 Jan 6 4:14 AM Day 1211,016 (-92) 246,292 Jan 14 3:36 AM Day 122146 (-870) 246,438 Jan 23 3:58 AM Day 1232,869 (+2,723) 249,307 Jan 26 4:01 AM Day 1241,430 (-1,439) 250,737 Jan 27 4:34 AM Day 1252,665 (+1,235) 253,402 Jan 29 5:30 AM Day 1261,573 (-1,092) 254,975 Jan 30 3:53 AM Day 127Durr, being brainwashed by attractive internet, must focus....Hey! I got sick (a.k.a. low-grade fever, nose explosions a.k.a. sneezing, and blowing up my nose a.k.a. blowing my nose) and wi-fi was down the whole time + a couple of days afterwards! Got all my mixed papers (old unfinished stories, ideas, notes, graded papers from high school I've kept, etc.) organized into folders and containers + wrote a lot because of it. Heh heh heh. *feeling guilty*
Looking Back... And Forward
Happy Birthday, 2014!
Back in 2007, I remember writing something down that I still smile at the thought of whenever a new year comes:
"Each year begins with a new light. A light that tends to fade as it gets closer to its end. A light we can't see, yet look forward to."
That was a [school year, 2006-2007] that I was coming up with a bunch of stuff. New ideas, new dreams, discovering talents I never thought I had, etc. That was around the same time I was first writing this book (that was destroyed before it was finished). During the summer of 2006, I was daydreaming at night (what I named "gazedreaming", as it is silly to call it daydreaming when it is at night) of events that were realized to be in the third book (this one). So, starting in September or late August, I started writing in the covers at night (my over-controlling, abusive aunt, whom I was living with at the time, didn't want me to "write ever again". So, I had to write in secrecy. I wasn't going to let her kill my writing dreams. [Oh, yeah. I have four aunts. Only that one is mean. She bears a resemblance to how a bipolar behaves. Nice, mean, nice, mean. Our relationship to her is now: She is nice to send us stuff, but we never communicate/spend time with her). I probably wrote a good fourth of the book before the controlling and abuse got worse and I had to stop.
The start of 2007 was looking optimistic. I wrote the quote above about new years coming and going, made plans to continue writing and discovering dreams, and then -- BAM! My aunt found out that I was a couple of months behind on my homework for my Fantasy Literature: Tolkien class.
I always struggled in school, had trouble concentrating, had memory problems, etc. I more than likely had ADD. The fast pace of the class and the abuse didn't make it any better, either. The teacher allowed me extra time and extra slack, but my aunt didn't care. She took me out of all my classes at the Christian home school center and put me into what I called, "lone school". No internet, no phone calls, no pen pals. I couldn't communicate with my friends, couldn't communicate with cousins, couldn't even go to church. I was often put on "room restriction" for day, weeks, or months for small mistakes I did such as being literally 2 minutes late to bed or forgetting to clean the litter box one morning. The thing is: Stress makes you forgetful. And I was under a lot of it.
For six months, I went under depression. I didn't know it at the time, but I was depressed. After six months, in mid July, I felt like I was going insane. I was afraid that being so depressed was going to affect my future, my dreams, my stories. I pulled myself out of it. I learned to dull my emotions, where I could just blank out the stress, the sadness, the anger, and I somehow pulled out of my depression. It didn't improve my overall situation, but at least I felt better. It took me about two or three weeks, as I remember, to completely pull out of it.
Although I don't talk often about how I finally escaped my aunt's, I can say that it was relieving. Being traumatized, it took 1 or 2 years for me to really get back to thinking about my stories again. Even longer for me to break from writer's block.
Being unable to fight my aunt for proof of my homeschooling (This was a month before I was supposed to graduate in 2010, and I was almost 18 years-old), the public school system had no choice but to have me redo high school all over again. Thankfully, I took some tests, including IQ and HSPE, so I was able to earn credits. I found out that my process for thinking was slower than the average person's, and my mathematical skills were Elementary school level (I'm still mentally disabled in math). But, I was happy to learn that my reading and writing skills were better than the average Senior, and that my IQ level was upper average.
I didn't want to NOT graduate. I didn't want to get a GED, either (which I felt was kind of like cheating, in some way -- But not towards others, mind you. Only to myself. I had a close friend and neighbor get her GED). I figured that I would go with it, since I didn't know anybody in the neighborhood, I really needed help with my math skills, wanted to improve my writing skills even more, thought it'd be fun to take choir and photography and whatever other classes sounded fun (and free!), wanted to see what public high school was like, and -- more than anything -- prove to my aunt that I wasn't "stupid", that I WOULD graduate, and that I wouldn't end up flipping burgers at some fast food chain.
It was so hard, but it was so fun and so worth it. I made a lot of friends, both out of teachers and kids, and I even became Vice-President and later President of the school creative writer's club (Trust me, even THAT job isn't easy!). I graduated. At the ceremony, I sang a solo with the choir (others had solos, too) in the song, Heart and Music by William Finn: "If I only had the time, what I would write for your delight!"
Now, about 7 months later, I'm in the middle of writing a book. I've been looking for a job on and off, but I think I'll add more seriousness to my search, now. Hopefully, I'll find one that I can use my talents with. With the 3 extra years of school, I don't see myself going to college any time soon. Even if I had a scholarship or student loans, I would still have to pay for books and other materials, as well as race to find a job within 6 months after getting out of college. (Half of graduates who try to don't make it and end up going into debt. Personally, I don't want to be in that half, so I think I'll wait until those statistics improve, thank you.) I'm too poor, anyhow.
Freedom to choose who you want to be and what you want to do in your life shouldn't have to come with a ball and chain to weigh you down. It should come with wings. And if you ever end up getting a ball and chain along with those wings, flap hard until you break free. Trust me, hardships are often long and hard (story of my entire childhood), but in the end it makes you stronger -- even if you feel it's the opposite.
So, flap those wings. And fly.
God bless you all, and have a wonderful 2014.
Back in 2007, I remember writing something down that I still smile at the thought of whenever a new year comes:
"Each year begins with a new light. A light that tends to fade as it gets closer to its end. A light we can't see, yet look forward to."
That was a [school year, 2006-2007] that I was coming up with a bunch of stuff. New ideas, new dreams, discovering talents I never thought I had, etc. That was around the same time I was first writing this book (that was destroyed before it was finished). During the summer of 2006, I was daydreaming at night (what I named "gazedreaming", as it is silly to call it daydreaming when it is at night) of events that were realized to be in the third book (this one). So, starting in September or late August, I started writing in the covers at night (my over-controlling, abusive aunt, whom I was living with at the time, didn't want me to "write ever again". So, I had to write in secrecy. I wasn't going to let her kill my writing dreams. [Oh, yeah. I have four aunts. Only that one is mean. She bears a resemblance to how a bipolar behaves. Nice, mean, nice, mean. Our relationship to her is now: She is nice to send us stuff, but we never communicate/spend time with her). I probably wrote a good fourth of the book before the controlling and abuse got worse and I had to stop.
The start of 2007 was looking optimistic. I wrote the quote above about new years coming and going, made plans to continue writing and discovering dreams, and then -- BAM! My aunt found out that I was a couple of months behind on my homework for my Fantasy Literature: Tolkien class.
I always struggled in school, had trouble concentrating, had memory problems, etc. I more than likely had ADD. The fast pace of the class and the abuse didn't make it any better, either. The teacher allowed me extra time and extra slack, but my aunt didn't care. She took me out of all my classes at the Christian home school center and put me into what I called, "lone school". No internet, no phone calls, no pen pals. I couldn't communicate with my friends, couldn't communicate with cousins, couldn't even go to church. I was often put on "room restriction" for day, weeks, or months for small mistakes I did such as being literally 2 minutes late to bed or forgetting to clean the litter box one morning. The thing is: Stress makes you forgetful. And I was under a lot of it.
For six months, I went under depression. I didn't know it at the time, but I was depressed. After six months, in mid July, I felt like I was going insane. I was afraid that being so depressed was going to affect my future, my dreams, my stories. I pulled myself out of it. I learned to dull my emotions, where I could just blank out the stress, the sadness, the anger, and I somehow pulled out of my depression. It didn't improve my overall situation, but at least I felt better. It took me about two or three weeks, as I remember, to completely pull out of it.
Although I don't talk often about how I finally escaped my aunt's, I can say that it was relieving. Being traumatized, it took 1 or 2 years for me to really get back to thinking about my stories again. Even longer for me to break from writer's block.
Being unable to fight my aunt for proof of my homeschooling (This was a month before I was supposed to graduate in 2010, and I was almost 18 years-old), the public school system had no choice but to have me redo high school all over again. Thankfully, I took some tests, including IQ and HSPE, so I was able to earn credits. I found out that my process for thinking was slower than the average person's, and my mathematical skills were Elementary school level (I'm still mentally disabled in math). But, I was happy to learn that my reading and writing skills were better than the average Senior, and that my IQ level was upper average.
I didn't want to NOT graduate. I didn't want to get a GED, either (which I felt was kind of like cheating, in some way -- But not towards others, mind you. Only to myself. I had a close friend and neighbor get her GED). I figured that I would go with it, since I didn't know anybody in the neighborhood, I really needed help with my math skills, wanted to improve my writing skills even more, thought it'd be fun to take choir and photography and whatever other classes sounded fun (and free!), wanted to see what public high school was like, and -- more than anything -- prove to my aunt that I wasn't "stupid", that I WOULD graduate, and that I wouldn't end up flipping burgers at some fast food chain.
It was so hard, but it was so fun and so worth it. I made a lot of friends, both out of teachers and kids, and I even became Vice-President and later President of the school creative writer's club (Trust me, even THAT job isn't easy!). I graduated. At the ceremony, I sang a solo with the choir (others had solos, too) in the song, Heart and Music by William Finn: "If I only had the time, what I would write for your delight!"
Now, about 7 months later, I'm in the middle of writing a book. I've been looking for a job on and off, but I think I'll add more seriousness to my search, now. Hopefully, I'll find one that I can use my talents with. With the 3 extra years of school, I don't see myself going to college any time soon. Even if I had a scholarship or student loans, I would still have to pay for books and other materials, as well as race to find a job within 6 months after getting out of college. (Half of graduates who try to don't make it and end up going into debt. Personally, I don't want to be in that half, so I think I'll wait until those statistics improve, thank you.) I'm too poor, anyhow.
Freedom to choose who you want to be and what you want to do in your life shouldn't have to come with a ball and chain to weigh you down. It should come with wings. And if you ever end up getting a ball and chain along with those wings, flap hard until you break free. Trust me, hardships are often long and hard (story of my entire childhood), but in the end it makes you stronger -- even if you feel it's the opposite.
So, flap those wings. And fly.
God bless you all, and have a wonderful 2014.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Elsa from Frozen is Like My Main Character!
Last night, I went to see the movie Frozen in theaters with a friend. I nearly screamed when I saw Elsa's ice/snow powers. If you want [more than] a hint of my main character (known for secrecy as just an abbreviated "G"), go watch Frozen.
G has a lot less glitter, doesn't waste her time swirling the snow just to make ice (Disney just did that for show to add beauty and magic in order to entrance the audience), and has a less bold personality (she's more sweet, naive and is more of a victim and one to defend and flee rather than one who's easily willing to kill those who want to harm her [she wants to avoid that and give people the chance to change]). Oh, yeah. And she doesn't wear make-up. In my opinion (I don't know about you), but Elsa had a little bit too much eyeshadow. It kept bothering me throughout the movie. Needed to be a bit lighter. Oh, and she isn't blond, either. Not telling you yet, unfortunately.
Say, did anyone notice how that Anna's eye color changed from blue to green and blue from time to time? Another thing: After Elsa accidentally froze the fountain, the next shot (from the doorway angle) it was flowing perfectly again.
Making ice and snow in a fast manner at will: That's G. Using weapons and creating other objects out of ice: That's G. Having no control over your powers at first: Nope. Creating living creatures: Nope. Glittery dress: Nope. Creating pretty (and showy) big snowflakes so big you can see the structure: Very nope. Making a whole land turn to winter: Heh, heh. No comment. ;)
Oh, yeah! The other day it finally snowed where I live, so I made a snowman for a few hours (before I got cold and it started to rain). Just a plain old thing, really. The next day, it had melted so much, it had no hat and no head left! I originally wanted to make a Doctor Who weeping angel, but I was already getting cold and was tired after only having 3 hours of sleep that night ( and a little boy decided to come up to me without his mom and started chatting with me for a long while. I didn't want to frighten the little guy). Simplest snowman I've done for a long time. (Last year's actually had a face and glitter all over it.) Maybe next time....
G has a lot less glitter, doesn't waste her time swirling the snow just to make ice (Disney just did that for show to add beauty and magic in order to entrance the audience), and has a less bold personality (she's more sweet, naive and is more of a victim and one to defend and flee rather than one who's easily willing to kill those who want to harm her [she wants to avoid that and give people the chance to change]). Oh, yeah. And she doesn't wear make-up. In my opinion (I don't know about you), but Elsa had a little bit too much eyeshadow. It kept bothering me throughout the movie. Needed to be a bit lighter. Oh, and she isn't blond, either. Not telling you yet, unfortunately.
Say, did anyone notice how that Anna's eye color changed from blue to green and blue from time to time? Another thing: After Elsa accidentally froze the fountain, the next shot (from the doorway angle) it was flowing perfectly again.
Making ice and snow in a fast manner at will: That's G. Using weapons and creating other objects out of ice: That's G. Having no control over your powers at first: Nope. Creating living creatures: Nope. Glittery dress: Nope. Creating pretty (and showy) big snowflakes so big you can see the structure: Very nope. Making a whole land turn to winter: Heh, heh. No comment. ;)
Oh, yeah! The other day it finally snowed where I live, so I made a snowman for a few hours (before I got cold and it started to rain). Just a plain old thing, really. The next day, it had melted so much, it had no hat and no head left! I originally wanted to make a Doctor Who weeping angel, but I was already getting cold and was tired after only having 3 hours of sleep that night ( and a little boy decided to come up to me without his mom and started chatting with me for a long while. I didn't want to frighten the little guy). Simplest snowman I've done for a long time. (Last year's actually had a face and glitter all over it.) Maybe next time....
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