Thursday, May 29, 2014

*temporary pause button inserted*

  So, Memorial Day weekend was fun and... eventful. I went to the Folklife Festival in Seattle on Saturday and Sunday (my first year) with some friends. We didn't expect the suffocating numbers of people smoking weed. Hahaha. It kind of got to me Saturday night, making me ultra tired when we got back. I was thankful that the constant rain the next day dampened it.
  Unfortunately, the rain made it not so fun walking around in. Tired after about 4 hours, we decided to head back.
  On the way, though... let's just say that something traumatic happened which left me a little... shaken. Don't worry. We're okay.
  Unable to give the details, I'll say this much more: Due to my adrenal glands getting a heavy beating, I'll be taking a short break from writing. It'll be about anywhere from a couple of days to a week, I think. It's just I'm about to hit a spot in my book where it will be a bit too emotionally hard to tackle right now, but I assure you I'll be fine, soon.
  Don't worry. I feel sad, too. Every time I feel like writing, I remember what I have to face, and then a squirming knot in my belly says, "Nope! Can't you see this meter is on low??" I need to wait for my steel butterflies to starve and rot into a soft mush before I even attempt to unravel this knot and reinstall my nearly unbreakable wall.
  Uhh, shoot. You probably don't know what in the world I just said. Hahaha! Here I am talking like my characters again! That sometimes slips out.
  Let me re-phrase it: Every time I feel like writing, I remember where I am in the book (the emotionally hard part I'm about to write that will no doubt overwhelm me to the point of taking a break instead of typically just shedding some tears). Then, when I remember it, I get a feeling like being overwhelmed but not quite (which I've learned is a warning), and I get butterflies in the stomach so bad it makes me feel kind of sick. I feel like I have to wait for my adrenal glands to take a rest and get re-filled after the traumatic experience, which drained me. This isn't me normally, as I've learned to simplify my thoughts and emotions to nearly nothing at will, after having a very rocky childhood.
  Wow, that was a mouthful. You can see why I've made a funny way of talking for certain characters of mine. Anyhow....
  Oh, by the way: Fun fact: Paramedics can be quite funny, especially when one keeps threatening to sit on you from the lack of room in the ambulance.
  P.S. Again, I'm okay. *takes a little ibuprofen* ;)

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